Creepy Kids

Over on the SDL Facebook wall, I asked you what the creepiest thing was that you’ve ever heard a kid say.

I had no idea what to expect.

This is what I got.

29 More of the Creepiest Things Ever Said by Kids

  1. My daughter saw me getting dry skin off my shoulder after a bad sunburn and asked if she could keep my skin flakes and put them in a jar so when I die she can make a mommy mask and remember me always.
  2. We had just moved into a new house and two kids showed up at the door. When I asked if I could help them, one of them said, “our mom wants us to tell you, the old people who used to live here are buried at the end of the road.” They ran off and I have never seen those kids again to this day.
  3. When my daughter was 3 she woke up one morning looking rough. I asked if she slept okay and she said, “No! Popaw Mike kept me up all night pinching my toes!” My dad, her Popaw Mike, passed away 8 years before she was born and that’s how he used to wake my brother and I up when we were little.
  4. At my great uncle’s funeral she asked when he was going to turn into a zombie.
  5. My son telling me in the sweetest of voices in a consoling tone… “Don’t worry mommy, I’ll never murder you.”
  6. From my neighbor’s three year old: “When’s the baby going to come out of your tummy?!” I didn’t even know that I was pregnant yet.
  7. One night I let my then 3 year old sleep with me because my husband was gone. It was dead quiet in the house and she whispers “Ive got ya where I want ya and now I’m gonna eat ya”.
  8. When my son was three, he came and climbed into bed with us, crying. I asked what was wrong, he said that the big fat man with a bloody hole in his head kept trying to open his window.
  9. My then-4 yr old daughter came up to me, put her hands on my belly, and said “Mommy you have a baby in your belly.” Come to find out two weeks later that I was 3 weeks pregnant. She also said it was a boy (even though she REALLY wanted a baby sister), and she was right. She also did something similar to two teachers at her daycare. They called her the baby whisperer.
  10. My best friend Lisa died when I was pregnant with my daughter. When my daughter was 3 I heard her laughing. I said ” what are you laughing at?” She said ” auntie Lisa is making silly faces at me and playing with me.”

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he’s most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It’s an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!