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creepiest-things-kids

  1. When my daughter was 4, I heard her singing a song that my mom always sang to me when I was young. I asked her where she learned it, she told me that her grandma taught it to her. My mom passed away 6 years before my daughter was born.
  2. “Mommy why is the man by the fan staring at me?” We were in bed about to sleep…..there was nothing by the standing fan….I still don’t like that damn fan…
  3. While grocery shopping, my son points at the Aunt Jemima syrup and says, rather loudly, “Mommy, let’s get Aunt Vagina!”
  4. When she was about 18months old, my Grandpa George died. We had a photo of my Grandparents on the fridge right alongside those alphabet magnets that all toddlers have. The day of the funeral, I was getting her breakfast ready while she played with the magnets. I turned around and she has spelled GEORGE right under my Grandparents photo.
  5. We were at a campout and suddenly my three year old yells out, “Uncle Ricky keeps touching my weiner!” They were roasting hot dogs and my brother Rick about had a heart attack on the spot.
  6. I recently had an Ectopic pregnancy, I’ve been really sad. my little boy told me “Mommy I can be the baby in your tummy, but you have to eat me first!”
  7. My five year old has stuck to this SAME story since he was 3: I remember my last mom and dad died and you found me, remember, I was on the side of the road when you found me as a baby. I had a little sister before but she’s dead too.
  8. I was pregnant and working as a preschool teacher. One of the little girls was very curious about my pregnancy so we were talking about it. Somehow we got on the subject of how the baby might come out. She looked me dead in the face and said, “you know, they’re going to have to cut it out of you.” As you can imagine I was kind of surprised but managed to deflect and say, ” Well, if they don’t cut it out of me, what are some other ways that the baby might come out?” Again, she looked at me dead in the face and said, “I think that baby might just crawl right out of your mouth.”
  9. The other day on the train my 4 year old daughter told me “Mama, I’ll love you forever until you die, but when you die, I’ll hate you.” I asked her why she would hate me and she said “Because then you’ll just be bones and I’ll let Juno (our dog) chew on them.”
  10. My 3 year old daughter watching me put a panty liner on – “Mom, is that a band aid for your butt?”

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he’s most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It’s an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!