1. When my son was five, my daughter “raised” rabbits, he came running in distraught, “Someone get Oreo off Hershey! Doesn’t he know she just had babies & isn’t in the mood to give piggy back rides?!”
  2. My son told me babies come out of a woman’s buttocks. I asked him if we poop them out and he looked me dead in the face and said, “Mommy, you know where babies come from.”
  3. My cousin crawled out from under my aunt’s bed after their noon “session” and angrily asked, “How come you guys yell at us kids for jumping on the bed, but it’s ok if you do?!
  4. I asked my 10-year-old daughter if she knew what sex was, and she answered, “Um, naked kissing?”
  5. With his hands over his eyes “Mom, Dad…..are you guys exercising again???”
  6. My daughter, Camryn, who is 4, informed me how babies get into tummies. It started when she said, “Mom, remember when I was playing in the toilet, after you pooped me out?” Apparently, “(I) ate a salad that has seed on it, the seed grew into a baby, and when its done growing, (I) pooped it out” … Another reason to not eat salads!!
  7. “Does daddy have a Magic Sac too, like Rudy (the dog)?”
  8. My then 4 year old daughter, walked in on her Father and I having ‘special hugs’ early one morning, and asked ‘Can I hop on too?’
  9. When my first child was 20 months, I heard him in my room and called him to come back in the living room. He walked into the room with my vibrator in his hand using it as a phone, saying, “Hello, hello…”
  10. … My 5 year old was talking about my friend, Maria, who just gave birth to a baby. He said, “Mommy. I know how Ms. Maria had her baby. The baby got bigger and bigger. Then the baby came out of Ms. Maria’s penis and Ms. Maria split in half. I bet that hurt real real bad.”
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!