kids-questions-sex

Over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook wall, I asked the question:

What is the funniest thing a kid has ever said to you about sex, before they knew what sex was?

These are a few of your amazing replies.

  1. Heard my boys talking once trying to remember what a girl was called that liked other girls… They decided it was Canadian…
  2. My 5 year old niece after hearing that we are expecting a baby: “Yep, that’s what happens when you share your toothbrush. I’m never sharing my toothbrush. Ever!”
  3. My little cousin saw his baby sister naked. He said “Ewwwwwww gross… her butt crack goes all the way to the front!”
  4. My son came home from 1st grade and told me a classmate was pregnant. I said ,”How did that happen?” He said ,”I dunno, but I hope it ain’t mine.”
  5. When I found out what sex was, I was disgusted. I immediately went to my grandfather and angrily and incredulously said to him, “You had sex SIX times?!“ and walked away disgusted. He has six kids. I couldn’t understand why he laughed when I said that.
  6. I was telling a friend of ours that our 3 year old son had walked in on us “hugging.” My son then yelled proudly to my friend, “And bouncing!” She thought it was hysterical. I wanted to crawl in a hole to die.
  7. My kids think sex is the gender box you check on forms.
  8. This is a conversation heard between my two sons who were sitting in the backseat of our vehicle. Kid 1: Hey mom, can boys make babies alone? Me: oh sh**, here we go… No, baby, both moms and dad have different ingredients to make a baby. Kid 2: Like Vitamin D?! Me:(chuckling)…couldn’t hurt! Kid 2: AND WINE?! Me: (sputtering, choking on laughter) Most definitely at this point, honey!
  9. When my son was a baby, my daughter (8 years old) was very intently watching me change his diaper. I took this as an opportunity to explain a little bit about the differences between boys and girls. I told her that what her brother had was what makes him a boy and what she had was what made her a girl. She looked at me completely horrified and with tears in her eyes she said, “Why can’t you just tell by their voice?!?”
  10. Mom: Do you know what pornography is? Child: No…I know what archery is!

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!