1. My husband had said something about his “package” and my seven year old daughter whispers “you mean your twig and berries?”
  2. When I was in college, my sister was in early elementary. Once I got a letter from her asking if we could have an orgy the next time I came home. It turns out that our pastor had used the word during his sermon and my sister asked my mom what it was. My mom had told her that it was a wild party.
  3. My son’s kindergarten teacher called me laughing one day… Apparently she overheard him talking to some other students saying “when two girls get married, it means they’re gay or they’re Democrats” I should explain this was right around election time and he had been overhearing political discussions at our house.
  4. My daughter, about 7-8, was filling in a wallet’s ID section and wrote “not yet” to the sex gender question.
  5. When my son was 4 he called to me from the bathroom, “Mom, what are these two little balls?” “What little balls?” I asked. “The 2 little balls underneath my penis,” I told him that they were his testicles. He asked what they did and I told him that they didn’t do anything now, but he would need them when he was a grown up and wanted to make babies. That seemed to satisfy him. A year later he was making his plea for a sister or brother. I told him babies were kind of boring, they just sleep and cry. He said that he could make them do things. I asked how he planned on doing that. He replied, “With my little balls… You told me I would need them to make babies do things”.
  6. We always tell our children that they are made of Mommy’s and Daddy’s love. So one day my 3 year old daughter says, “Daddy pushed so much love into Mommy, that she had twins.”
  7. “Mom stop right there. We are mammals, we do it like all the other mammals. If I have questions, I can Google it.”
  8. This week my 8 year son heard us from his room. We thought all 4 kids were asleep and were attempting to be quiet, as we do when they are with us. We heard “Mom? Are you pooping in your room? It sounds like you are pooping.”  We both cracked up, needless to say.
  9. My nephew’s definition of sex (approximately age 5): When Mommy and her husband go into the bedroom to be naked, and I have to watch a video.
  10. My six year old asked one morning, out of blue, “If babies come from sex, how come I don’t have more brothers and sisters?”
  11. My daughter was 4 and we passed a building with a vibrator on display in the window (we live in Holland). She asked me what it was. I replied that it kind of tickles, shakes, trembles, makes you laugh, and that some people like it. (Sorry was the best thing I could come up with.) Later that week, while sitting on the back of my mother’s bike on a cobblestone street, she screamed through loud traffic, “THIS IS LIKE A VIBRATOOOOR!” My mother asks, “What? I can’t hear you?” My daughter yells even louder “THHHIIISS ISS LIIIKE AAA VIIHIIBRAAHHAAAAAATOOOOOR.” I wish I had seen my mother’s face.

You guys (and your awesome kids) rock.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. I usually don’t ask for this, but I will the next several posts. Will you please go to the SDL page on Facebook and “like” the link I shared to this post? Having been on a long break from blogging, Facebook is not showing my links to very many people at all so it’ll help get that ball rolling a little quicker for me. Thanks SO much for helpin’ a blogger out! 🙂

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!