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16) “I want to get you pregnant.”

17) First email: “I love you.”

18) “You must be petite… if I’m going to have to talk to you, you’ve got to be nice to look at.”

19) “You said you were 48. You look 38. I’d like to give you 8 inches!”

20) “I love your son.”

21) “If I had a husband, would you kill him?”

22) “You are 5’8. That is 5’11 in heels, yum!”

23) “Baby I’m a pilot with United. Would you like to come play in Maui?”

24) “PG rated or XXX rated?”

25) “Do you like to be choked?”

26) “How soon would you be willing to have children?”

27) “It’s important to me that you desire my semen.”

28) “Can i pee on you?”

29) “How would you like it if I told you we were going to be together… forever & eternal… ?”

30) “I want to clean for you in the nude. Especially vacuuming. Do you need any vacuuming done?”

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!