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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “what actually is true.” More than six thousand secrets were shared. Every month I try and share 60 of them here. Completely random and exactly as they came in.

These truths aren’t meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles.

Pulled from the Truth Box: Week 30

1
What everyone thinks is true:
Everyone thinks I am comfortable with my physical appearance.
What actually is true:

I am fat and I hate it. I’m actively trying to become anorexic because I feel like it’s the only way I can control myself enough to lose weight.

2
What everyone thinks is true:
I can read
What actually is true:
I cant
3
What everyone thinks is true:
My husband and I bicker constantly.
What actually is true:
We’re crazy about each other and have just strengthened our marriage even further via marriage counseling. I love this man and he loves me.
4
What everyone thinks is true:
My husband and I have a great sex life.
What actually is true:
The sex is great, but he is atrocious at foreplay. So bad I sometimes feel like I’m going to jump right out of my skin and run screaming across the house.
5
What everyone thinks is true:
I’m happy that I’m in my last year of college and happy with my life.
What actually is true:
I’ve been so depressed for the last 5 years of my life, I feel like a waste of life. The only reason I haven’t taken mine is because I’m too scared to.
6
What everyone thinks is true:
I’m happily single
What actually is true:
I’ve been seeing a married man for almost 2 years, and I waver between wishing he would leave his wife and fear that she will find out and be destryed and I’ll be “that whore.”
7
What everyone thinks is true:
My husband thinks I’m asexual.
What actually is true:
I hate him for putting an end to our sex life so I’d rather hug my dog.
8
What everyone thinks is true:
I have an excellent marriage.
What actually is true:
He gained 100 lbs and I can’t stand the sight of him naked. He’s a nice man and a good person, but his body repulses me.
9
What everyone thinks is true:
I’m in a happy relationship with my fiancĂ©.
What actually is true:
I’m in a happy relationship with my fiancĂ©, but I wonder everyday whether I’ve missed out by not dating a woman. I could never tell him this.
10
What everyone thinks is true:
My boyfriend got sick during finals week and I took him to the ER.
What actually is true:
My boyfriend had a mental breakdown and suicidal thoughts. I took him to the ER where he was hospitalized in the psychiatric crisis unit for two days.
11
What everyone thinks is true:
I’m a happy, normal person.
What actually is true:
I’m on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds. Sometimes I think of running away and never returning.
12
What everyone thinks is true:
My boyfriend and I are just perfect for each other.
What actually is true:
I hate him. Quite a bit. But I’ll never leave unless something really drastic happens because my family loves him more than me.
13
What everyone thinks is true:
I am content with life in my hometown.
What actually is true:
I feel like there is little room for growth and hope to move out in a few months.
14
What everyone thinks is true:
I am happily married with children.
What actually is true:
I am happy, adore my family more than anything, but I have painfully loved another man for 20 years and recently had a risky emotional affair with him. It kills me every day.
15
What everyone thinks is true:
Everyone thinks I do a great job balancing being a single mom (had him when I was 17), work, and everything else.
What actually is true:
I never wanted kids and hate my parents for making me have him. I hate being single and feel like Ill never meet the right guy because Im a single mom.
Continued on next page.
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!