Sexuality has become such an open and common and even public thing that we are actually starting to believe that everybody wants the exact same thing.
And we are starting to believe that everyone wants what they see in porn, which is perfect breasts and giant penises. We somehow believe that just because people find perfect breasts or large penises to be fun or noteworthy, that it’s all they will ever want and that it’s all they will ever actually appreciate.
We grow to hate the very parts of our bodies that have always been the most cherished in generations past.
We brace ourselves for our partners to be disappointed when they first see us without clothes on. We warn them for crying out loud!
My friends, we are doing it all wrong.
What we have under our clothes is a gift, damn it, and we need to treat it as such, no matter what genetics we happened to be born into.
We need to get things in perspective and be okay with the fact that yes, other people know what giant penises and perfect breasts look like, and yes, they enjoy the hell out of them when they do encounter them. But we also need to learn to believe again that our penises and our breasts and our vaginas are still just as important and still just as cherished and still just as appreciated when it comes down to it.
We need to not mentally prepare the person we are with for the awful and grotesque moment they are about to suffer through with our naked bodies. We need to not describe the less than porn-like experience they will eventually have so that they’re mentally prepared when they do have it.
We need to not obsess over the partners our new partners have had in the past and whether they were better or worse. Bigger or smaller. More endowed or perfectly shaped.
Who cares?! Even if they had the most epically endowed partner ever… WHO CARES?! They are not here now. They are nothing but part of a highlight reel. No big deal.
Your breasts. Your penis. Your body. Your skin. Your curves. Your everything.
It’s all amazing. I don’t care who you are.
And my advice is, if you’re with someone who really would look at you in all of your unique genetic perfection, and who would really take your gift and spit on it by wanting something else, put your clothes back on and tell them to get the hell out. It’s your gift to give. It’s your gift to take away. And nobody deserves it who doesn’t understand that. Nobody deserves it who isn’t enchanted, and excited, and fascinated by your gift.
As for me, maybe you’re wondering if I was being honest with my date. Do I have a ridiculously tiny penis? Was I being facetious to prove a point? Do I actually have a marvelous porn-quality penis? Well, my gift is actually none of your business and the only way you’ll ever find out is to find your way into my life and to be the kind of person who wouldn’t care at all anyway.
Dan Pearce, The Single Dad Laughing Blog
PS. I would love your comments on today’s post. I’d love your blatant honesty and perspective. Should be a fun one to discuss. Do you agree? Do you disagree? What do you think has caused such an obsession with breasts and penises and everything else below the neck?
And yes… you may giggle now. We made it to the end.
Also, you should definitely watch this video if you find yourself in need an amazing and hilarious reality check.