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3. They will publicly denigrate those they were once close to.

Someone who is insecure about how they’ve acted or treated someone else will publicly defame or bad-mouth that other person (we’ve all seen it on Facebook), and even worse, they will offer only one side of the story. Theirs. But there are two sides to every pancake (no matter how thin) and I guarantee anyone who does this knows a doozy of another side that they really don’t want seen or heard. Trust me. People who didn’t have a major part in the demise of said friendship or relationship have no need to defame the person from their past. Ever.

4. They will brag. Often.

Someone who is insecure about how much they have accomplished in their lives, or in their careers, or in their relationships, or in their goals, will brag about everything they have done or accomplished. Constantly. This is not to be confused with confidence. Confidence is when you refuse to belittle your own accomplishments to make others feel better. Bragging is when you want others to feel worse about their own so you hype up yours. Trust me. People who are okay with where their life is at, where it’s going, and what they’ve accomplished so far, have no need to brag. Ever.

5. They will belittle another person’s success.

A person who views another person’s success as superior to their own, or who sees the public praise surrounding another person’s success and is intimidated by it, will belittle and diminish that success in any way that they can. They will try to prove why that person’s success was not actually earned, why it was a fluke, or why the pathway to that person’s success was achieved by breaking rules and trampling on others. Trust me. People who appreciate the success of others, and use it to inspire themselves and push themselves to greater things, have no need to ever belittle a successful person in their quest to feel better. Ever.

6. They will always make an excuse when they trample on other people.

Someone who knows that they are treating other people’s time and relationships as disposable will always have a “really good excuse” (and rarely an apology) as to why they always show up half an hour late, or why they don’t treat their friends and family better, or why they talk bad behind your back. Their excuses are always somehow noble and if you question them, it is you who becomes the jerk. Trust me. People who genuinely care about you, your relationship, your time, and your trust have no reason to treat you like that. Ever.

7. They will tell you things about people you love that is none of your business.

The most insecure people will always find a way to lay out awful and random details about other people’s lives at your feet when you least expect it. It is their attempt at deflecting any negative thought you could have about them before you have the chance to have it. Trust me. People who aren’t afraid that you are judging them and their lives have no need to gossip about other people and share hurtful information about them. Ever.

8. They will be a bad loser when they lose.

There is nothing this type of insecure person hates more than losing. At anything. And when they do lose, they will tell you all sorts of reasons why their loss isn’t really a loss, or why it wasn’t fair, or why the other person had an imbalanced advantage, or how they know that the other person was cheating. Trust me. People who don’t define themselves by the times that they lose at things, and people who understand that nobody can win at everything, have no need to do anything but put out their hand and say “good game” (or the equivalent of it) when they lose.

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