dan-pearce-skiI stood on my skis, catching my breath after a heart-pounding speed-course down my favorite black diamond at Brighton Ski Resort. I have yet to top any physical feeling that beats a perfectly executed run like the one I had just experienced. If done right, one has no choice but to stop and catch his breath at the bottom while he lets the muscles in his legs breathe.

I looked up at the blue sky, the warm sun battling the bitter cold of the air that surrounded me. The resort wasn’t crowded that day. I had yet to wait in line for a lift. My legs were working. My body was moving. My soul was… happy.

SCHWACK.

My shoulder was assaulted from behind by a passing snowboarder who had misjudged his turn. The impact didn’t stop him, but the glancing blow did its best to topple me over. Thankfully I caught myself, and after a loud grunt, I yelled out harshly at the snowboarder.

It all happened so fast and so unexpectedly. But that couldn’t compare with how fast and unexpectedly the word came out of my mouth that followed. And what came out, I couldn’t believe.

“FAGGOT!” I barked loudly.

It’s like the word was a split second in front of my brain. As it came out, I wanted to stop but it already had a head start and did what it pleased.

The snowboarder said nothing. He never acknowledged his error. He never turned around. He didn’t yell, “sorry!” It was over as quickly as it began, and once he had disappeared over the hillside, I had nothing left but my own thoughts.

Why would I say that? Why would I do that? Why would it be the first word out of my mouth to call someone who had done something like that? When I was a teenager we used the words “gay” and “faggot” to put others down. Everyone in my generation did back then, it seems.

But not now.

No, now I am better than that. Now I champion for equal rights and equal love. Now I teach my child actively to never use words like that. I preach love and acceptance. I have a bazillion gay friends. I mean, hell. I myself am something other than straight.

For crying out loud.

I haven’t used that word in a derogatory way in years. Maybe over a decade. Yet there it was, being yelled at someone from my mouth for all the world to hear.

And I am embarrassed.

Surely, I am better than that.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

SHARE
Previous articleLet’s Just Get Naked
Next articleInternational Act Like a 7-Year Old Day!
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!