I think yesterday it was established that we pretty much all agree that attraction is different to everyone. She who is pretty to me may not be pretty to you, and visa versa.
But what is attraction? How do we develop it? Why is it often so fine-tuned person to person? The whole concept is so fascinating to me.
And believe me, the few of you who commented last week knocking me for dating pretty girls aren’t the first people to do it. More than once, the women in my family have blindsided me out of nowhere (all in good fun), asking why I only seem to date “slender, young, pretty girls.”
It usually happens at family dinner. And yes, they are right. That is generally the physical type I am attracted to. And there’s a good reason for it. There’s a healthy reason for it. I think.
More than once, I’ve found myself defending what I consider attractive to my sisters and mom. My responses are usually cut off with eye rolls and “yeah, yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that” responses. So, I wonder what your response will be if I tell you what I try to tell them.
For me, the older I get, the far more important it is for me to date people based on life and less on looks. In fact, I’m at the point where that is just about everything to me as I venture into oncoming freeway traffic. Whoops. I mean, as I venture into the dating world.
A person’s life, and whether or not it will co-mingle with mine, and fit with mine, and compliment mine, is everything to me. I only have to glance in the mirror to remember that age will fade the looks of anyone if they live long enough. And when that happens, all we have is the life that always lurked beneath the looks.
So, with that being said, I am looking for someone I find to be gorgeous. And more importantly, I am looking for someone whose life is gorgeous to me as well.
And isn’t it safe to say that that is going to be my type? The person who is gorgeous and has a gorgeous life in my eyes?
So what exactly is my type, then? And why do looks play into it at all if life is most important to me?
I’ve thought about how to answer that, but instead, hear me out and then you tell me. I am going to tell you what kind of life I am attracted to, and you tell me what you think that person might generally look like in a physical sense when I’m done.
I am attracted to someone with big goals and who works towards those goals.
I am attracted to someone with a giving soul.
I am attracted to someone who has a love for fitness like I do.
I am attracted to someone who strives to find balance between her love for fitness and her love of delicious food the way I do.
I am attracted to someone who is introspective and loves to tear out the unhealthy inside parts of herself the way I do.
I am attracted to someone who loves to get herself all done up and go out for a night on the town the way I do.
I am attracted to someone who will hike with me. And ski with me. And snowshoe with me. Or at least try it all a few times before she says she can’t do it or doesn’t like it.
I am attracted to someone who doesn’t always have to be out and about and who can just enjoy a night on the couch watching movies while we snuggle.
I am attracted to someone who will go out and play sports with me.
I am attracted to someone who will be playfully competitive with me.
I am attracted to someone who has struggled with many of the things I have struggled with.