Doll issued a sea shore

Over on the SDL Facebook wall, I asked you what the creepiest thing was that you’ve ever heard a kid say.

I had no idea what to expect.

This is what I got.

32 More of the Creepiest Things Ever Said by Kids

1. My son once kicked at our bathroom rug and said, “Lance told me that’s where he killed his mom.” Creeped out, I asked him what he was talking about, and he said Lance comes and talks to him on the playground and told him that he killed his mom in our house. My son was in first grade.
2. My four year old daughter snuck into bed with us and said, “there’s a real old lady in my bed and she laughs mean at me.”
3. My son proudly walked into the kitchen and told me that he had hid three snakes in my dresser drawers and I had to guess which ones.
4. “Mom, there’s a man who looks like a shadow who comes to my window every night and says mean things.”
5. My daughter came in to our room one night and woke us up crying. After getting her to the point she could talk again, she told us she thought someone was “hanging from their neck outside on the lamp thing.” I investigated but there was nothing out there.
6. My son and I were watching a movie. Suddenly he looked over toward the empty doorway to the kitchen and said, “daddy, who is that guy and why doesn’t he ever say anything?”
7. One night at about 10:30 PM, there was a tiny knock on my door. I opened it up and there was a small little boy outside. He said, “tonight is the night they come for you.” Suddenly his dad appeared and apologized profusely as he scooped up his kid and carried him away.
8. My daughter asked me how long I’d live, and I told her I don’t know but hopefully a very long time. She shook her head and said, “nope, that’s definitely not going to happen.”
9. I was baking cookies with my three year old and she looked at me and said, “mum, if I wanted to go back into your tummy the way I came out can I?” I told her no, she said, “can I at least try?”
10. “A man with a bloody head keeps looking in my window mom and it’s scaring me.”
11. My daughter started screaming like her skin was pinched in the seatbelt or something. I pulled over the car and asked her what was wrong. She said, “nothing, I just didn’t want to be the ones to die.” I asked her what she meant, and she said one of the cars on the road was going to crash. A minute or so later we came on an rollover that had just barely happened. Luckily the driver wasn’t dead, but it shook me to the core, haha.

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!