tobi-blake-dan-pearceI woke up the next morning to the ding of email after email on my phone.  I thought for sure my email had been hacked.  Instead, it was you.  Pouring out generosity to me, someone that you do not know.  When I saw the blog post, I was in literal shock.  This is by far the biggest gulp of pride I have ever had to swallow.  It is difficult for me not to stress about how I can possibly pay each of you back and how I can show Dan and each of you individually the depths of my gratitude.  I am driving myself crazy with it.  It feels impossible. You never realize how prideful and stubborn you are until you lose complete control of accepting the generosity of others.  I don’t like accepting help.  In fact, I hate it.  And I usually have the ability to control it.  But Dan robbed me of that with one of the greatest acts of love and kindness I have ever experienced in my life.  If Dan would have given me the choice of whether or not he would write that post, I would not only have said “no,” but “hell no.” And he knew it.  But he did it anyway, because he loves me.  I am forever grateful.

You, Dan’s readers, are absolutely, mind-blowingly incredible.  With Dan’s love and goodness, he has attracted the most amazing group of people on this earth.  I am astounded.  I am humbled.  As I read your comments, I feel genuine love from you.  It is inspiring to say the least.

I have two giant fears in my life.  The first is losing one of our children.  The second is being a burden to anyone, especially the people that I love.  This is a very real fear for me.  I am perpetually early for fear that I might make someone wait.  I have a literal phobia of inconveniencing someone.  MS reminds me of that fear every single day.  It’s the most difficult part of the disease for me. I never want anyone to have to take care of me.  My comfort zone is independence and taking care of the people that I love.  But I have met my match with stubbornness. Each night, AJ and I have the same argument.  And every time, AJ wins.  The argument goes something like this:

AJ: “Roll over on your tummy and let me massage you honey.”

Me: “No sweetheart.  Thank you. It’s late and you have to get up early.  I’m fine.  Snuggle me and let’s get some sleep.”

AJ: “You are hurting, and I want to help.  Please babe.  I am not going to sleep until you let me massage you. The longer you argue, the longer it will be until I’m able to go to sleep.”

Me: (Rolling over) “UGGGGGHHH!!!! Thank you sweetheart.”

Last night, I was putting up an extra big fight, and he told me that if I would roll over, he would sing me a song.  He knows I can’t refuse his beautiful singing voice.  And so I lay there, listening to him sing, rubbing my aching body to make it feel better.

Previous articleA Letter from AJ
Next articleDoing My Time in Facebook Jail
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!