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facebook-prison

I recently was put into Facebook jail, my friends, and I will tell you that it’s not a place you want to be.

They throw you in this dark tiny cell, and all you can hear are the moans of fellow inmates, intermingled with the sounds of dripping water and rat squeals. They feed you possum feet and tree bark soup. There is no humanity in Facebook jail.

Or something like that.

It happened on Monday night. I logged into my Facebook account and was instantly greeted with a meme that I had shared on the SDL Facebook page several days before. “YOU ARE A BAD PERSON!” I think Facebook’s message read beneath it. Or something like that. “THIS IMAGE BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE AND THEY SQUEALED ON YOU!”

Or something like that.

I had shared it. I thought it was an image meant to be shared. One of you sent it to me, after all, after someone shared it with you. But alas, the creator of the image didn’t want it shared (at least by me), she found it on my page, and she called down the mean people in dark blue suits and wartime hats to start beating me with billy clubs.

Or something like that.

Facebook then made me click “next.” I did. It had a picture of the God of Facebook hammering a gavel, pointing one finger at me, and handing me my sentence. “YOU SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING BUT LOOK AT FACEBOOK FOR THREE DAYS! NO POSTING, DINGBAT! NO LIKING THINGS, DOOFUS! NO ANSWERING EMAILS, DILLWEED! NO TOUCHIE TOUCHIE! JUST LOOKIE LOOKIE!”

Or something like that.

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!