I have this friend named Tobi. She’s actually one of my best friends but I don’t write much about our adventures together because she’s my ex-wife’s little sister and I don’t like to step on toes. Just know that we are close.
But not close like that. That would be weird.
Anyway, I’ve known her for almost twelve years now and if there’s one thing I can tell you about her, it’s that she’s protective of her buddy Dan. And by protective, I mean that she’s super over-protective of her buddy Dan.
We laugh about it all the time. She doesn’t jump for joy over very many of the girls I bring around. Not because there’s anything wrong with them, but because they don’t always fit the idea she has floating in her head of the kind of woman I should be with.
See, Tobi knows that I’m sensitive. She knows that I strive to have a genuine heart. She knows that I’m kind. And she wants me to find someone who’s “worthy” of that (I guess). She wants me to date the kind of girl who only giggles, is always ready for a quiet picnic in the woods, and doesn’t have a messed-up or mean bone in her. You know… the perfect girl from the romance movies.
In fact, a lot of people feel the same way Tobi does.
Problem is, I tend to like girls who are at least a little messed-up. I like girls who have a hard shell. I like girls who have some good baggage and who are, dare I say it… maybe even a little bitchy when I first meet them. (Hear me out on that.)
I remember once there was a cute girl that I wanted Tobi and her boyfriend to set me up with. “You wouldn’t want to date her,” she told me. What she meant was, she didn’t want me to date her.
“Why is that?” I said.
“She’s just going through a lot of stuff right now. Too much baggage.”
I groaned. “Tobi! What if I like people who are going through stuff? What if I like baggage?” She looked at me like I was crazy. Or desperate. I’m not sure which. “I mean, why can’t I just enjoy people’s messed-upness?” I said.
It was the first time we had talked about it, and the first time I’d really thought about it.
And I wasn’t just saying it.
I actually enjoy women who have had struggles, challenges, and are dealing with crap.
And I know why.