This is my quarterly confession session. Because being human is more fun when we all do it together. And yes, sillies, I know this week I just barely confessed a small handful of things, but I can do better than that for sure!
Here we go…
- I still haven’t setup my robot vacuum that I confessed to never having setup in the last confession session. You know. The one you all yelled at me about? Yeah, I just kind of forgot I had it altogether.
- Speaking of such things… I bought a decorative camera at Z Gallerie and it’s been sitting in the box inside the bag they put it in for, oh, I don’t know… a month and a half?
- I sent my ex a picture of me shirtless and looking better than I ever have in my life and told her it was an accident. I did it for literally no reason than that I thought it was funny.
- I picked up a bag of Doritos on one end of the store, and then in my what am I doing?! panic, I ditched them on a random shelf in the cosmetics aisle clear on the other side of the store.
- I bought mascara while in that cosmetics aisle, in case I ever have an important photo to take and can’t go see my eyelash tinter. I still haven’t opened it. But I’m kind of excited to use it the first time I need it.
- I get my eyelashes tinted. Hey. I’m not totally straight. It’s legit.
- I went faster and harder than I ever have during the first big group workout I hosted, and I paid the price with some very sore legs the next day.
- Also while at Z Gallerie, I paid $80 for a fantastically epic magnifying glass, and it has been sitting in the corner ever since our first couple days of fun with it because I have no idea what to do with it now.
- I burned through four episodes of Game of Thrones in one night. I started at 12:30.
- I kissed a girl even though I had a cold. She got sick two days later and I felt like a jerk but I didn’t tell her it was probably from me.
- I took something back to Costco that I had had for more than a year.
- I accidentally left a box cutter out on my porch and it disappeared. I was just sure I was going to hear about some child in our neighborhood who found it accidentally slicing themselves open and bleeding out.
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE