On the SDL Facebook page, I asked you, “what is the absolute funniest insult you’ve ever heard?”

Without further ado, I give you what might possibly be, the funniest 44 insults ever. Er… At least they’re my favorite from your replies!

  1. “If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ level.”
  2. “I can’t believe you used to be the best mom in the world!” – from my 5 year old son after a tantrum.
  3. Guy at work last week said my bangs look like a walrus stache. Right?!
  4. Your momma’s so fat her patronus is a cake
  5. “You’re too dumb to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.”
  6. I asked my husband “does this skirt make me look fat?” And he said “babe, don’t blame the skirt…” he got punched but I couldn’t help but laugh as I was doing it.
  7. “You smell…..athletic….”
  8. “You, sir, are an oxygen thief!”
  9. “You’re dumber than snake mittens.”
  10. From my own loving older brother to me one summer after being sunburnt. Me: my face is peeling. Brother: it’s the ugly trying to get off.
  11. I teach high school students with special needs and one of them got mad at me and said, “I hope you have bad sex!!!”
  12. My daughter was worried that she would never get married and then she said.. “you did” so there is hope for me…
  13. “I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.”
  14. “I can lose weight, but you’ll always be ugly.”
  15. “Asshole casserole” – said by an 8 year old boy
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!