Dear everyone, except for my grandma and my mom who I’m always happy to come help… And I mean always.
This is how we, the people who understand a bit about tech, fix your crap.
Your computers. Your phones. Your internet connections. Your cable. Your websites that break on you.
I know you think we’re super smart when you call us (at your wits end) and we make time to come help you, and we walk out of your house twenty minutes later, or two hours later, and your problem is magically gone and your crap is working again.
I know you think we’re super talented. And super knowledgeable. And super, well… plain ol’ super heroes.
But we’re not.
At least not when we’re fixing your crap. We may dress up as super heroes, and wait in line for super hero midnight movie releases, and tell those we are crushing on that we have super hero powers in the bedroom, but in your house, fixing your crap, we’re not really heroes at all.
Now, don’t be offended that I call your fancy gadgets and doodads crap. I call my own fancy doodads and gadgets crap. My own fancy doodads and gadgets have their own problems, and I often have to fix my own crap.
Which is what I want to help you do. I want to help you understand how to fix your own crap.
It’s very simple, what we superheroes do. I will take you step by step through each of the things I’ve mentioned above.
1) Your computers. The first thing we do is restart your computer. This takes care of about 85-90% of all computer problems. If that doesn’t work, we empty your recycle bins and trash cans and temporary internet folders to get rid of the built-up junk, and we restart your computer again. If that doesn’t work, we run a virus and malware scan on your computer. If you don’t have a good virus and malware software installed, we roll our eyes, curse under our breath, and install one of the many free ones for you. If that doesn’t work, we look for software you have installed that isn’t from a reliable source and we get rid of it. If that doesn’t work, we get on Google, type in the name of the problem you’re experiencing, find an answer from one of ten thousand other people who have had the exact same problem, and fix your problem. If that doesn’t work, we call tech support, assuming your computer is still under warranty and let them walk us through fixing it. If that doesn’t work, we Google, “how to restore my model of computer to its original factory setting?” and we follow the instructions we find. If that doesn’t work, we tie the ends of four ropes around your computer and the other ends around four horses, slap their butts, and tell you to go buy a new computer.
In other words, you can fix all of your own computer problems.
You can also prevent most of your own computer problems by… Clearing out your temporary internet files on a consistent basis, restarting your computer at least once every day, using anti-virus and anti-malware software, and keeping all software off of your computer that isn’t from a reputable source.
Now, I know that when you get to the step of “restoring your computer to its original settings,” things can get scary in a hurry. Call me at that point, and I will be happy to come be your super hero. It’s not as scary as it sounds, and everyone should do it to their computer every 6-9 months anyway. Every two months if you don’t use protection while “surfing” the web and downloading software.