secrets

Dear friends. Dear family members. Dear aunts and uncles. Dear neighbors. Dear readers.

Free yourself, already!

Your secrets! Ugh. Free yourself of them! Please! If I’m being honest, it’s simply too much burden for the secret sharers to carry for you.

I’m a secret sharer. I have found SO much power the last few years in letting go of my secrets and embracing everything I am, and everything that has made me, well me. It’s been liberating. It’s been exonerating. And it has made me feel both free and unburdened by any judgments that might come my way.

But… if I’m being honest, it has a real downside. I have learned that when one embraces himself as he is, without judgment or need of approval, others share their burdens with him openly and freely. Always with an insistent, “please don’t tell anyone, I’m still not ready for that.”

What have been my major secrets… let’s see… Oh yes. I came out as something other than straight. That was a big one. What else… hmm… oh, yeah. I shared that I was sexually abused as a child. Also, I told you all about nearly taking my own life. Also, I shared my reasons for leaving the Mormon church. I also shared many other weak moments of my life, crappy things I did, and thoughts and feelings I struggle with still and always.

That’s called secret sharing.

And, I do it for you yes, but I really do it for me more. Secrets, my friends, are cankers on the soul. They are the rust that covers authenticity. They are the greatest hinderers of progression. And they are the biggest road blocks of happiness.

Secrets.

Do you know why we keep things to ourselves? Do you know why we keep secrets?

We do it because we don’t want to be harshly judged by others! We do it because we don’t want parts of our lives to change! We do it because we fear losing those we care about!

Wow. Think about those three reasons. And tell me which one of those reasons you can honestly say feeds into a functioning formula for happiness. And tell me which of them challenges you to live a life that you’re living for you instead of a life others want you to live.

The answer is, the second one.

No, silly! The answer is none of them! Secrets are the very proof that our lives are not fully our own.

I know that. And I actually know that you know that. Do you know how I know?

It’s simple really. Just like I said. Secret sharers get secrets told to them.

When I told you all about nearly taking my life, I had a sibling, I had a cousin, I had several friends, and I had countless of you, dear readers, confide in me that you had been pushed to that ledge as well.

“But please don’t tell anyone!” you tell me.

When I came out as bisexual, I had relatives, friends (so many friends), and so many of you, my dear readers, confide in me that you also have been hiding such things and running from such things.

“But please don’t tell anyone!” you tell me. “Please don’t tell anyone!” everyone always tells me.

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!