Doll issued a sea shore

Over on the SDL Facebook wall, I asked you what the creepiest thing was that you’ve ever heard a kid say.

I had no idea what to expect.

This is what I got.

36 More of the Creepiest Things Ever Said by Kids

  1. My 4 y/o son saw a lady faint while checking in at the hospital. Everyone was in shock and panicking. He turns to me, shrugs his shoulders and says “Well, guess someone doesn’t have a Mommy anymore.” Completely unfazed.
  2. “Last time i came here there used to be a stable in that field.” 2 year old on first trip to a local manor house. (She was right.)
  3. In a demonic voice… “I have walked this world for a millennia. I have seen it all…You have no idea what the world has planned for you…” Followed by a dead, blank stare. I love teaching…
  4. “Mommy who is that standing behind you.” Yeah we were home alone.
  5. “Hey mom, some naked guy is always following me around when no one else is there.”
  6. “So, there’s this kid who used to live down the street. He got shot by his brother on accident when he was a kid, and he keeps telling me to go find his brother. It’s kind of creeping me out, mom.”
  7. My three year old patted my pregnant belly and said, “I will kill you dead someday.”
  8. “Sometimes when I’m sick, I see a beautiful woman coming to take me home.”
  9. I find it creepy when I wake from a dead sleep and the first thing I see is one of my kids standing there staring at me.
  10. When my son was little he would ask me who the “little girl in the yellow dress” was in the corner of his room. We moved out of that house pretty quickly.
  11. We were looking at homes to buy and my three year old suddenly looked into this dark corner and screamed, “I don’t want to live here. That old man won’t stop looking at me!” Needless to say, we didn’t buy the house.
  12. “Dad, do you think mom will ever love my wiener as much as she probably loves yours?” – my six year old.
  13. Said by my (barely) two year old daughter. “Daddy, I’m gonna break that thing off so you look like a girl.” I always wore clothes around the house after that, haha.
  14. My daughter is looking out the window at night and laughing. I ask her what she is doing. She says “playing peek a boo” I said “with who?” She says grandma. No one was there. I asked if it was grandma in Iowa or in Utah. She said “no your grandma” all my grandmas are dead.


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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!