truth box

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “what actually is true.” More than six thousand secrets were shared. Every month I try and share 60 of them here. Completely random and exactly as they came in.

These truths aren’t meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles.

Pulled from the Truth Box: Week 33
1
What everyone thinks is true:
I had a childhood crush on him; we were friends in school; we drifted apart in our 20’s and lost touch.
What actually is true:
I seduced him – only much later realized he saw me as a sister; it hurt him. He hasn’t spoken to me in 30 years. I die inside when I think of what I foolishly did to him. Regret.
2
What everyone thinks is true:
I sold my motorcycle because I didn’t have time to ride it.
What actually is true:
I bought the motorcycle for my then girlfriend. We broke up so I took a class to learn to ride. I crashed the motorcycle in class. I never got on a bike again. I’m too afraid.
3
What everyone thinks is true:
That I have a great marriage and we’re living “the dream”.
What actually is true:
I’m literally dying on the inside after my husband revealed he had an affair….and a new baby. I’m completely devastated.
4
What everyone thinks is true:
I’m okay with my ex husband getting our 3 kids on his time schedule, at his convenience, only when work allows him to.
What actually is true:
I loathe the fact that I never know when I will have a night off to myself. He lives with his new girlfriend and I cannot even have a date as I have no idea when I will be free.
5
What everyone thinks is true:
That I let go of him to make my marriage work.
What actually is true:
Even though the other man and I have never even kissed, just typing this has my heart racing so fast I can’t breathe. I hate loving two men. It hurts and I feel guilty.
6
What everyone thinks is true:
I have adjusted fairly well to being a single mom when my husband died 7 years ago.
What actually is true:
I resent I have a child that is constant reminder of heartache. I take sleeping pills at night because I see my husband in my dreams and I’m happy.
7
What everyone thinks is true:
I am heterosexual mom and wife.
What actually is true:
I have also been sexually attracted to girls/women as long as I can remember, and I don’t think I’ll ever been able to “come out” as bi.
8
What everyone thinks is true:
I am a loving and faithful wife.
What actually is true:
I had a 6 month affair with an ex and it only ended because the ex didn’t want to commit to me.
9
What everyone thinks is true:
That my marriage and life are perfect despite the curveballs we’ve been thrown with our children and their medical issues.
What actually is true:
We never have sex, and I would love to just run off and overdose to end it all…shameful
10
What everyone thinks is true:
After my husband (ex) cheated on me, I would never do that to someone.
What actually is true:
I’m seeing a marreid man.
11
What everyone thinks is true:
I am handling a failed adoption really well and that I’m so strong.
What actually is true:
I hate the people responsible for the failure. I often can hardly breathe from the pain it is causing me. If it weren’t for my son I think this event could actually kill me.
12
What everyone thinks is true:
I am super successful, dependable and responsible with no problems in my life that I can’t fix.
What actually is true:
I struggle paycheck to paycheck, I hate my life, I hate being the “responsible one” and would like to be irresponsible, unpredictable and free for once.
13
What everyone thinks is true:
That my husband and I are on top of our bills and managing life well after losing a child.
What actually is true:
He has an addiction to rx pain pills and no rx. We’re not even surviving paycheck to paycheck and I’m scared and angry.
14
What everyone thinks is true:
Everyone thinks that my deceased husband’s family is horrible for basically ignoring me and my three children for the past three years, and that they blame me for his death.
What actually is true:
I don’t care if I never hear from them again. Contact with them just brings up old wounds, and they are such a mess that they can’t see what they do to destroy each other.
15
What everyone thinks is true:
That my husband and I have good jobs and use our paychecks to support our children and payoff medical debt.
What actually is true:
He has a Lortab addiction that is drowning us financially and making me feel hopeless about our family life and our daughters’ futures.
Continued on next page.
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!