Hi, I’m Dan. I like… funny people. I like happy people. I like pretty people. I like people who will have fun getting and being fit with me. I like people who will also lounge about with me, and order pizza sometimes, and watch entire seasons of shows on Netflix without sleeping.

And I really like people who will… hike with me. And get up and belt the f*** out of karaoke with me. And not sit around being turds at parties. And not constantly tell me that every Pit Bull on earth is just misunderstood. And wrestle with me. And be vulnerable with me. And be honest with me. And want all of it in return.

And I really like people who… aren’t always late. And who don’t act like they’re either too cool for me or not cool enough for me. And who love themselves. And who think that their own jokes are hilarious. And who can be snarky and sarcastic, though not without end. And who are kind to service people. And people in need. And people with less.

And I really like people who… pay for at least some of the meals. And who are grumpy, at least a little, until they get their coffee like I am. And who work hard for money but aren’t defined by money. And who love to travel. And who love to relax in hot tubs. And who will try new food even when they look scary. And who will not bury problems or dramatize problems, but will work through problems.

These are the kinds of people I like.

Was that better?

These dating profiles are hard!

But, I’m putting myself out there. My mom told me that I’ll never get a girlfriend if I don’t.

Or maybe it was my grandma who told me that.

Me and my grandma are super tight. It was probably her. Yes, I hear her voice now, “put yourself out there. Beg people if you must, Dan. You will get a date if you don’t give up!”

Thanks grandma. Hopefully someone, somewhere, reads this and says, “hey, I’m this guy’s dream girl. And I wanna see him lift that house with an elephant on top.”

Oh, wait. Now I’m sounding pathetic and unconfident at the same time that I’m sounding arrogant and vain again.

Let’s try this:

I’m awesome. You’re awesome. Let’s get together, yeah yeah yeah.

My Interests:

If you’re hot, and if you’re awesome, and if you’re my dream girl, you tell me your interests first so that I can tell you that I have all the same interests.

Never mind. My grandma just told me that would backfire. Let’s see… Interests…

I kind of listed them above. And I don’t want to be redundant.

I do have an interest in words, especially fun words like “redundant” or “superfluous” or “gratuitous.”

Sports & Exercise: I lift houses. With elephants on top. Five or more times per week. That’s both a sport and an exercise.

Pets: There is nothing I can write here that won’t make animal extremists hate me.

But I will anyway.

I love dogs.

I don’t love dogs enough to pay $5,000 to surgically remove the yarn from their intestines that they found and ate who knows when and where.

I also love birds.

But not enough to want the mess that comes with them.

I also love cats.

But they are little jerks and I don’t like little jerks, so I end up resenting them.

I also love hedgehogs.

No buts there. Let’s get pet hedgehogs.


Previous articleA Big Fat Day of THAT
Next articleThe Unknown & Heavy Price Tag of Popularity
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!