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WHY We Are So Lonely – One Viral Video that We All Need to HEAR

This can’t be watched and absorbed enough. Becoming more attached yet more lonely than ever before is what has led me to start leaving my phone behind…

I believe loneliness is the next great pandemic that our generations will deal with. I’m so happy to see this being realized and talked about more than ever while we still have time to rethink the ways we use social networking…

Take time to watch this.

Take time to HEAR this.

Take time to share this.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughinglonely

55 comments
Lisa Calhoun James
Lisa Calhoun James

Recent studies are showing that depression is caused by the constant feed of electronics into the mind. You are part of the electronic social era and people part of it are experiencing more depression than previous generations. Really should make you think.

Chea
Chea

I happen to know a lot of people because of an online local chat I joined about 15 years ago, and many are still friends, in real life. So there is some good to it all, and it doesnt necessarily kill all chances of meeting people. But I will say most of this video is very true. When out and about, theres no need to pull out your phone ever single time there is a break in life. Its sad that it has taken over  the way it has. My very closest friends are those I met offline, and built a real face to face connection with. Thats for sure.

Lyza Tan
Lyza Tan

What makes being online bad is when you don't know a single thing about what's happening to the one seated right next to you...

JChap
JChap

I have a 14 year old nephew who will never understand what it is like to walk to a friends house to see if they can hang out. He will never know what it means to write a letter to someone...the value of waiting...appreciate a good face to face conversation...and all that other "deep stuff" that we as an older generation can look back on and say "Man! Technology has really screwed with society!" I am as guilty as anyone else...but I have been trying to make a more conscious effort to think for myself rather than in a "status"...take picture because they are something beautiful and I want to capture - not because it is going to fill my album on FB. It's hard ... I get it...but this video is spot on!

Eric Carter
Eric Carter

I believe that children are our future. Teach them well, and let them lead the way.

Michele Chandler
Michele Chandler

Ours get put face down, in a tower like shape, and if your phone goes off and you answer it or you just want to "check it" and you're the first, you do the entire kitchen clean up. It's made us leave them or return calls later. We do have a house phone in the event of an emergency if someone needed to get ahold of us. We can hear what they say on the machine.

Delvin Nakuzami Rennoldson
Delvin Nakuzami Rennoldson

Did that guy just deliver an intense and deep message through an incredibly long and seemingly intricate poem that took five minutes to recite? Damn. . . . Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. I think I have to work on my writing (at least poetry) skills a bit more. @.@;

memenus
memenus

I just missed meeting the love of my life because I was staring at my screen watching this.


Nicole Burr Albertson
Nicole Burr Albertson

I am the person I am and there's nothing wrong with it. I would much rather communicate with the friends I already have than force myself into awkward social situations to try to make new friends. I'm pretty shy but when I make friends, I keep them, even if I move far away.

Charles Hedberg
Charles Hedberg

Maybe if you were to put your phone down you could go out and actually meet people. I'm not trying to be an ass, just that you basically just admitted that you are the the person the video was talking about. Join a hobby group of some sort or just get out once in awhile to meet people!

Björn Traumer
Björn Traumer

Marcus Andersson Mitt stora mål för hela 2014...

Kristina Crowder
Kristina Crowder

I'm not lonely. Texting is GREAT! I've never liked calling people or talking on the phone. It is the perfect way to say, "How are you?" without the pressure of extra conversation, and the person on the other end can answer when they're ready, any time of day. I love getting little "snippets" of people I care about.

PontusRarityWindrunner
PontusRarityWindrunner

I don't agree with alot in this video, certainly not with the statement that social media and internet is not social at all. It is social, it is just another way to communicate. Sure, you wanna hear and see them, but there is programs that lets you do so, like skype for an instance. Even as we speak, there is technology that is being worked on to give a feeling of touch too. This guy means well though, but nothing more. Now I speak from a view where you are physically alone, in your room or so, not with another people around you. To stare at a screen when there's other people around you might be rude and antisocial. But count those who are irl rejected, abandoned or just wish to talk when noone is around and they talk to people over internet and gets positive feedback. Even if it's happiness through a screen, to these people that is enough to keep them going. Myself owe alot to a person I met over the internet, who helped me through anxiety and all(Yes, I've met him irl too) but even before that. I just get so tired of people blaming technology when it's really the individual's fault.

Nicole Honzak
Nicole Honzak

I am saddened every day when I go to the park, and the kids want to play and the parents shoo them away, breaks my heart.....

Bruce Daves
Bruce Daves

I tried, I've lived in a "New" city now for 10 years......I was once a fun club goer...Now i'm ancient, people stare past me invisible. I volunteer, noone calls me back. the only people who remember me as a REAL human, call me on the phone from far away places. I AM ALONE!

Aletha Bakke
Aletha Bakke

Personally, the internet and social media have opened up a whole new level of interaction, opportunities and communication for me. I can have a broad circle of friends without being overwhelmed by 'people energy'. I also have a life outside of the internet and am fairly active, though most of my activities are either solitary, or with only one or two other people involved. And that's Ooohkay. :)

Tiffany E. Altman
Tiffany E. Altman

Michelle, sounds like you've had a bad experience. I've known most of my "online only" friends for more than a decade. We've spoken on the phone, we know where each other lives, we're involved in each other's lives. I've known two of them for 12+ years and I have no reason to doubt their authenticity. Another. . .we met online and realized that we lived close to each other (within 1 hour) and our daughters are the same age (we began trying to conceive at the same time, though I conceived first and my daughter is 3 months older).

Michelle B Majore
Michelle B Majore

While some of what you've said is true, it's sometimes only true on the surface. Sometimes, the person on the other side is lying to you and you come to believe the lies. But that person isn't real and you can't always get to know the real person online. Sometimes the person on the other side is able to coerce you into doing something you wouldn't otherwise do. And you can be really hurt by it. Online bullying is becoming more prevalent and some people aren't prepared for it. People can be cruel online and in real life. But that shouldn't ever stop anyone from living their life. We need to learn and teach life skills about confidence and self worth and the worth of others. No one deserves to be degraded to a point they retreat to a phone or a computer to interact with others. But I have seen "popular" people retreat to their phones because of boredom or they don't know how to interact with someone not "like them". People need to learn to be more open minded. Anyway, I could go on, but this is a start. :)

Tiffany E. Altman
Tiffany E. Altman

Sorry, but I live in a place that I hate where I have almost no real friends. I stay "connected," because that's how I stay in touch with family and friends. People I actually KNOW, but do not live near. Without the ability to connect, I would be more depressed than I already am. No, thanks!

Laura Keske Jenkins
Laura Keske Jenkins

My kids and I decided that we are going to implement at least one totally unplugged day a week into our lifestyles. And for vacation this year we will be totally unplugged. It's a start!

Tina Allen Dartnall
Tina Allen Dartnall

uh oh.....what will it be like in ten years time or twenty,when theres no shops because everone buys on line,and our kids deserve being brought up the way we did,with the wind in their hair and scratches from trees theyve climbed...how will they cope these are our future ...our kids

Katy Hall Repp
Katy Hall Repp

Omgoodness....think how many XYZ PDQ's I've missed!

Erika Lyn Dellaire
Erika Lyn Dellaire

I don't own a cell phone, nor do I have any desire to. I have no need for one honestly. I live in a small town in the Yukon, my sons school, the rec. center and the post office are literally right across the street, the ONE store, is a a block away, and I can see the ONE restaurant from my back yard. I have a land line, and thats good enough for us. facebook does help me keep in contact with all our friends and family across the country (we've moved a lot) so its great for that, but its not the focal point to our lives. we have a great life, with moderate use of technology. getting back to basics, nature and each other is so much better than having every detail of our lives on the internet will ever be.

Takara
Takara

That was amazing! Very beautiful and inspiring.

Nicole Burr Albertson
Nicole Burr Albertson

I'm currently living in a place where I know exactly ONE person in the entire state. And he's the person I live with. If it wasn't for email, Facebook, texting friends and family back home, I'd be even more achingly lonely than I already am. And don't even get me started on how awesome it was to have my phone always with me when I was in Korea.

Arielle Cathrine Boyer
Arielle Cathrine Boyer

See, I think this is a generational thing. The older generations haven't grown up with this type of social interaction and technology. My generation has grown up with this type of technology, so we are more used to learning and interacting with it more than most people older than us. People in the beginning of the 19th century grew up without television as entertainment, and they had the same arguments as this video suggests for social media and modern technology. My generation has also grown up with more mental illnesses presents, such as depression, social anxiety, etc, and as someone who has experienced many of those, social media sites such as Facebook, tumblr, twitter, and youtube help me express my feelings much better than words. I am able to express who I am on the internet much better than I can in person, because when I am in public, I feel as though I have to hide who I am so I can appear "normal". Social media is in no way dehumanizing society like so many people think. It's helping the younger generations express themselves and make friends, without having to fake who they are just to be liked.

Molly Long
Molly Long

Beth this is great. Gotta share!

La Brice
La Brice

Like Stephanie Stagner, I don't use my phone in public, except for emergencies, and when was the last time I had one of those? I try not to get caught up in social media too much, but it's the best way I have to keep in contact with far away friends, it draws me into their lives much more than the occasional phone call would. A friend I had met over social media died last month, and my grief was not lessened by the fact that we talked exclusively over facebook. We were both people with chronic illnesses who had a hard time leaving the house.

Kellee Kershaw-Reiter
Kellee Kershaw-Reiter

The irony is that when you finish watching this video, they invite you to share it on facebook...........................

Stephanie Stagner
Stephanie Stagner

Like everything, social media should be used in moderation. I don't use my smart device in public at all, it's just rude. And at home, we don't use them during certain times of the day, family time. And I completely unplug every weekend. Phone is off and put away. It works for us.

Nikki M. Yates
Nikki M. Yates

For emergency purposes I never leave my phone behind. I do, however ignore it. I will briefly check a text but no longer respond until I can do so without being an ass. And I take phone calls from certain people. ( doctors, schools, babysitter etc. )

Devin Brooks
Devin Brooks

Sam Squires See u have it wrong tho. There ARE good people online.. but they are real. The reason for so much hate and social angst is cuz media has portrayed these images of social acceptance, wealth and happiness. So when people can't achieve that, they blame society, easier than to blame the self. We ALL need to change. WE ALL need to reach out. Because its true what he says, sharing good bits with no emotions behind it. This is coming from a shut in. Someone who hates awkward social interaction. Someone who wouldn't mind dying alone, and its cuz social media seems like a good enough replacement for coexistence. I don't regret not getting exercise, I don't regret missing out on the beauty of nature. I DO regret not learning how to be part of society. And I know there are thousands like me. That's what's scary.. its true.. if u think about it, look up in a crowded room. How many people u think you'll see doin the same.

Gayle Gerald Rood
Gayle Gerald Rood

My daughter and I rode the train into Chicago. She kept insisting she needed something to do on the train. I said no you don't. We look out the window, the world going by or we people watch. She did fine!

Amanda Van Der Westhuizen
Amanda Van Der Westhuizen

I have a chronic illness and often just feel too sick to have people over or go out. Because of social media I am way less lonely than before. Depends on the context, I suppose.

Sam Squires
Sam Squires

Gotta say, I do not agree with the message of this video. People who are absorbed in their phones and digital interactions often are because they have been rejected by "real" people and so they connect with people who they can actually have meaningful contact with, even if it is just digital. There is nothing that makes a random stranger on the street locally inherently better than someone you're talking to online, if anything in digital communications it is easier for people to connect because they are less likely to be influenced by initial prejudices and biases when meeting a new person. Meeting someone online you don't have to judge them on their race, the presence or absence of disabilities, their clothing choices, their appearance in general, even their gender. All of these become secondary traits compared to the actual human you're talking to. The viewpoint expressed in this video is quite simply biased against everyone who isn't white, pretty, able-bodied, cisgender and heterosexual simply because what they're calling for people to do in many places isn't even SAFE if you're not all of those things. This video is at best, the work of a luddite, at worst, an unqualified expression of some kind of inherent superiority of privileged people.

Jeanine Peterman
Jeanine Peterman

Thank-you Dan, watching this got me out of the house to my grand niece's 1 year old birthday party.... It was hot, and I had my daughter's chihuahua and had decided to get caught up on computer things... it was good to get out and look up.

unclebongo77
unclebongo77

Thankfully I am not allowed by British Law and it's security implications to have my phone with me at work. So I have not built up a dependency on my phone or technology that I have seen in others. But I can see why in a busy and demanding world that people do over rely on these things and the speed in which people can access things or get a things done.

Barbara Ell
Barbara Ell

One of the many reasons why I refuse to get a "smart"phone. Still use the old flip phone, which makes it harder to text (especially when you only have one "workable" thumb :-D )

Vicci B. Chuc
Vicci B. Chuc

Love it!!! He speaks the words I think! I have detached from much of the social media, and barely text anyone. I would rather pick up the phone and talk, hear someone's voice!