Let’s start with money. Because it’s pretty dang important, after all. Are you willingly signing over 10% of all your income? And none of this after taxes stuff. No skipping the birthday card money from grandma, either. If you want in, you pay the buckage. Got it? Oh, and it does not matter how poor or destitute you are. If you’re scraping by on disability, you still need to pay up. Please disregard that I represent one of the absolute wealthiest organizations on the planet.
And how about Jimmy Jenkins. Some dude you will never meet. Are you willing to tell me right here and right now that of the billions of people on Earth, he was the only one who got it right? No matter what you know of him, you have to acknowledge this if you want to go see your daughter get married. No room for doubts here, folks.
And, do you promise me that you never say, have said, or will say a negative thing about me, or any of the other leaders that I have appointed to govern you? If you want to not embarrass your family by not being at the wedding, this better be true.
And, do you swear to me that you haven’t touched a drop of coffee, tea, or tobacco, or anything like that? I’ll permit you to go see me exchange vows if you can answer yes.
And are you wearing that special underwear I gave you to wear? ALL the time? No slacking in that department, okay? The underwear matters. Sorry, I don’t care what underwear you’d rather wear. If you’re not wearing it, you can’t come to my next wedding. I don’t care how weird or uncomfortable it is for you.
You get the idea. And I’m betting that if I told you that you had to pass that interview to come to my wedding, you’d say… Have a nice wedding, Dan. I’ll come to the reception.
I need to stop before I make every Mormon in my life hate me. Mormons that I love so much.
Mormons that I would do anything for.
Well, anything except babysit. I don’t want to watch your kids while you go to the weddings I would love to be at.
If only I was as good as I had to be, to be one of you.
Temples are a tricky subject in Mormonville. Mormons believe they are sacred. They believe they are important. They believe they are necessary to get to where they want to be in the next life. They believe that those temples are the only way that families can be together. Forever.
But my question is… if the very thing you’re doing to be together forever is actually pushing families apart like this… isn’t there something there to be said about that?
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
FOLLOW-UP NOTE: Due to this blog importing comments from Facebook, and not keeping them threaded together as they are in the Facebook discussions, I’d recommend going to Facebook to read the threads and responses going on in the comments of the link to this post. Lots of these comments will make so much more sense, knowing what they are in response to.