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Q: Would you ever consider being a polygamist?
A: No. Also a weird question that two different people asked! One woman is tricky enough for me!
Q: What’s the most important advice you have received about being a single dad. What would you pass on to any newly single father?
A: I don’t know that I’ve received tons of particularly good advice about being a single dad. I have gotten tons of great advice over the years about parenting in general. My favorite that I try to live by is, instead of worrying about punishing for behavior I don’t want, I should try to motivate with rewards for behavior that I do want. It’s what I’ve always done and it works very well. The advice I’d pass onto a newly single father is, "don’t stress. Keep a good relationship with the mother if you can; you need that support. And, love your kids with all your heart. Everything else will shake itself out."
Q: What is your biggest physical insecurity?
A: My penis is TOO big. For sure. Oh wait. I was daydreaming about my fantasy life again. My biggest physical insecurity is probably my flabby lats that are left over from my obese days. Granted, they’re not lethal weapons like they once were, but I’m still insecure about them.
Q: Do you feel that humans are meant to mate with one person only for life?
A: No, not really. I believe humans are meant to find what makes them truly happy. For many, that will be the path of one mate for life. For others, it might be a sky diving orgy for all I know. I can’t judge other people’s happiness or attempts to find it.
Q: Do you sit or stand?
A: To what? To watch TV? I sit. To cook? I stand. To drive? I stand. Oh come on, you know that’s not true. Or… oh…. yuck. Are you talking about pooping? Hmmmm. Weirdo. And if I’m at home, I sit. I don’t wanna clean my own renegade pee up more than anyone else does.
Q: If you were immortal for a day, what would you do?
A: I think I would go all crazy down with some drug cartels and just get rid of ’em. I think they cause more problems than any of us have any idea that leak into all of our lives even.
Q: How do you get your hair so silky smooth?
A: I mix egg yolks with half & half, then I sprinkle cinnamon into it and massage it softly into my scalp. Oh no. Wait. No, that’s not it. I just buy high quality shampoo. But thank you for noticing how silky smooth it is!
Q: If some horrible thing happened and you had to evacuate your town for somewhere else in the US with Noah and a few others, where would you relocate to?
A: I think I would love to move to the Vancouver area. Maybe Oregon. I love the Pacific Northwest.
Q: Have you ever paid for sex?
A: Oh, I have paid for sex. Two divorces, now. As for prostitution, still no. I’ll let you know if I get that desperate.
Q: Where is your favorite place to write?
A: Not so much place as time. I like to write late at night, when the rest of the world goes to sleep. Nobody texts me. The phone doesn’t ring. My email stops. It’s magical.
Q: Did you know that you kind of sound like Kermit the Frog to me?
A: Did you know that you sound kind of like Charles Manson to me? Geez. LOL. Just teasing Dianna. I’m sure you have a very pleasant voice. And you should hear my Kermit impression. It kicks butt. I was going to do one, but I’m still getting over a big sickness.
Hahahaha. That’s enough torture for one day.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing