#5 – Death
I know, I know. Taboo at best. But I really think death should be laughed at as often as possible.
I don’t know how I am going to die, but I hope that once the initial shock wears off to those who love me, they will laugh like crazy about it. After all, I will probably have died in one of the following ways: eating too much in one sitting, skiing off a cliff, heat stroke on a mountain top because I was too stupid to hike prepared, being impaled by a moose, or thinking I was way more awesome than I actually am.
We all die. Every single one of us. So instead of funeral potatoes and honey ham at my funeral, please serve vodka Jell-O shots and French Toast as you all go around the room laughing about how silly I was to do things the way I always did.
#6 – Moms Obsessed with Teeny-Bopper Boys
You moms know who you are, and so do the rest of us. You put yourself on “teams” and decide whether being a teenage boy covered in sparkles or fur is more sexy. You debate which teenager is hotter, and you say extremely inappropriate things to your friends about what you would do with said teenage boys if you had the chance.
All I’m going to say is this. If I, a grown ass thirty-something man did the same thing about teenage girls, you’d all have freaked out on me a long time ago and left flaming turds on my doorstep by now. If I did the same thing about a teenage boy, there might be a mob forming outside.
But I get it. Boy Bands, and Vampires, and Werewolves, and Television Show pool boys are hot. I won’t judge you for it. At all. I’ll just join everyone else and laugh like crazy about your obsession because, well, it’s pretty funny.
#7 – Bawling Children
Look. I’m not saying that all crying children are funny. If a five year old stranger kid asks me if she can play on my iPad, and then I kindly tell her no, and then she proceeds to stomp her feet and squeal like a stuck piglet… I don’t think I’d laugh. I’d want to walk up to her parents and smack them with my iPad for failing to raise their child.
But, when a two year old bursts into tears because all the confetti poppers at the end of her birthday song scared the living heck out of her, well, that’s just funny.
#8 – Racist Old People
We’ve all seen them. We’ve all heard them. It’s okay to laugh. There’s no changing them. Enough said.