Doll issued a sea shore

Over on the SDL Facebook wall, I once asked you what the creepiest thing was that you’ve ever heard a kid say.

I had no idea what to expect. What I got would floor me.

And from that… the most creepy, most amazing, series was born. Enjoy today’s batch of stories, brought to you by you. They’re…. amazing.

25 More of the Creepiest Things Ever Said by Kids

  1. After pulling my then-kindergartner out of school early, I informed her we were taking an unexpected trip to her grandparents. She responded: I know, Mommy. It’s because Baby Brendan died. He told me last night. We were going to her grandparents because her infant cousin had passed unexpectedly due to SIDS and was discovered at 7:30 am. I’d said nothing to the school when I’d called about why I was picking her up nor had I been speaking with anyone in the car or via phone about it.
  2. After getting my anatomy ultrasound this pregnancy, I went back to look at my ultrasound from six years ago with my son. I was showing him, pointing things out “this was your foot in mommy’s tummy, this was your arm when you were in my tummy” etc, and then we got to the crotch shot. I explain what it was, and he kinda laughed, then snorted and shook his head. I asked him what was the matter, and he responded, “I’m just so…frustrated that my penis was in your stomach.”
  3. My 2 year old said yesterday, I will kill you and it will only hurt a little because I love you.
  4. Say or do? My phone woke me in the middle of the night, so with one eye open I was checking the alert, when suddenly a face appeared in the dark just behind the light from my phone. I tried to scream, but only air escaped my mouth as I tried to move away as fast as possible. The chaos woke my husband who sat up, still asleep, and started swinging his arms in front of him like a gorilla. Next thing I know, my 7 year old son starts crying because WE SCARED HIM! I almost had a heart attack. It’s also pretty creepy that he was watching me sleep.
  5. My three year old told me that her other mom got really mad at her, and left her in the house alone, and never came back. Then she became my baby.
  6. When my son was 18 months old he was playing cars alone but talking to someone. I asked who, and he said “your dad, silly!”. My dad died when I was six. …….
  7. Was at Petsmart… Girl, about 6, was looking at the adoption cats… Mom: look how cuuuute!! Girl: awe, they are! (she developed this pondering look on her face… mom saw it) Mom: whats the matter? Girl: cats have nine lives right? Mom: that’s what they say. Girl: (low voice)so if we got this one, I could kill it 8 times and still be good? Mom: aaaaaaaaand we’re done here.
  8. When I was pregnant with my son, my aunt had a massive heart attack. I was in the ICU room when they pulled the life support and she passed. This was never brought up or told to my son. He is now 4. Not too long ago, he and I were out and he asked me if I remember when we sat there and “watched that old lady die”. I was so confused. He said, “remember…when I was in your tummy. I remember hearing your heart beat faster and everything.”
  9. My (then) two-year-old started speaking Yiddish. She told us she learned it from the man in her room.

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!