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monday-ramblingsJust before that, I had stolen two chocolates from the turn-down service cart, and as we carried these nice folks’ trays back to our room, I told my friend Lilly, “you watch. Karma is coming to get us. I stole chocolate, and this free fancy chocolate is the beginning of a string of crappy chocolate karma coincidences.”

Sure enough. We bumped into this couple seemingly around every corner the entire rest of the cruise.

They were nice.

But I didn’t want to spend my cruise with them.

Every time we saw them, they got super excited.

“HEY! DID YOU EAT ALL THAT CHOCOLATE?!”

“HEY! TELL ME ALL ABOUT EVERY SECOND OF THE LAST TWELVE HOURS!”

“HEY! WANT TO MEET UP FOR DINNER TOGETHER?”

“HEY! WE’RE GOING SWIMMING TOO! WAIT FOR US TO GET OUR SUITS!”

“HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!”

At one point it got weird. We bumped into them by the elevators and she told us they had a giant plate of gourmet cookies that they had received for being “preferred cruisers.” They liked to say that. A lot. We were a good five minute walk from our staterooms on our way to the dance club when we crossed paths.

We didn’t want the cookies. There was still crème brulee leaking out of Lilly’s eyes and a frog leg sticking out of my throat from engorging ourselves at dinner a couple hours before.

But that didn’t matter. This lady thought we were her kids at this point, and before we could say no, she said “follow me! Let’s go get those cookies!” She just started walking away expecting us to follow her without questioning and I literally had to chase the woman down to say, “NO THANK YOU! CRAZY LADY!!!”

The next day… “HEY! WANT TO APPLY SUNSCREEN TO MY BACK?!”

“HEY! WANT TO PLAY SEX BINGO!?”

“HEY! WANT TO STRIP DOWN AND STREAK AROUND THE MUSTER DECK WITH US?! IT’S SOMETHING ONLY PREFERRED CRUISERS GET TO DO!”

Never steal chocolates from turn-down service carts, my friends. There is no escaping chocolate karma.

Let’s see. What else.

Happy birthday. This random post is over before it gets any worse. Haha.

As you were.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!