This is my quarterly confession session. Because… being human is more fun when we all do it together, and frankly… I love my life. Even all the oddities and weirdnesses and silly or stupid things I do.
Here we go…
- I still haven’t opened the robot vacuum. I think it’s time I gave it away. And no, I’m not doing that for drama. This really is the third quarterly confession session in which the robot remains packaged.
- I went to see the doctor and I had gained five pounds. I told the nurse it must be travel swelling. I knew good and well it wasn’t.
- I totally figured out a surprise birthday party being thrown for me and spent the next two weeks making my best friend squirm by pretending to know nothing, but saying things that would make her lie to cover up more lies.
- My friend Lilly wanted to put eye-liner on me for my party. I pretended like I was annoyed, but I was kind of excited about it.
- When our swimming pool opened up, I was too tired to take Noah, so I drove by and told him there was a closed sign on the door.
- I bought a couple of long boards so that Noah and I could learn a fun new hobby together. I secretly take it out when he’s not here even though it’s “our thing.”
- I went to Canada for a girl. It was one of the strangest trips of my life. I haven’t seen or talked to her since.
- I sat right next to a couple at the airport just so that I could listen in to their quiet fight about an old flame coming back into her life. It was juicy good fun.
- While stranded in Salt Lake City for four hours, Noah and I chilled on a park strip on the busy highway while we waited for our car. I felt like the worst dad on earth.
- I ate an entire Costco-sized bag of those baked Snap Pea things in three days.
- I bought an entire carton of fresh snap peas at Costco and they went bad because I never ate them.
- I told Noah to pretend the stick in his mouth was a cigarette because I thought it would make a cute picture. I felt kind of guilty, but the picture was so cute.
- A friend sent me this meme, and I laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more, but never shared it for fear of people knowing the kinds of things I laugh at sometimes.
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