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Truth Box

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “what actually is true.” More than six thousand secrets were shared. Every month I try and share 60 of them here. Completely random and exactly as they came in.

These truths aren’t meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles.

Pulled from the Truth Box: Week 34

1
What everyone thinks is true:
I had an affair with my husband’s best friend and then married him.
What actually is true:
There was no affair and his “best friend” acted more like a father to my daughter than my ex did. In a way I still love my ex and would have stayed, but he didn’t try.
2
What everyone thinks is true:
I am strong, have my act together and am a people person.
What actually is true:
I suffer from severe depression . I don’t really like people and would much rather be alone.
3
What everyone thinks is true:
That I’m super close with a group of girls I’ve been friends with since elementary school. We’re like sisters.
What actually is true:
A few of these women make me absolutely insane with their life choices. I put on a good front, but my closest friend and I judge them harshly behind their backs.
4
What everyone thinks is true:
I’m a normal person.
What actually is true:
Sex and nakedness always feels dirty to me. I think I may have blocked out a rape or something.
5
What everyone thinks is true:
I have a 13 year old car, 5 year old shoes and no extra’s because I work diligently to make ends meet on a closely monitored budget
What actually is true:
I dislike spending money just because its available and have $80K in the bank. I give generously to charities and those who need it (family & friends) under the guise of anonymity
6
What everyone thinks is true:
Im such a happy person and I love to help people by listening.
What actually is true:
Ive been dealing with depression for the last 5 years, and have such a hard time putting on a smile at times. And yes, Im a good listener but I wish someone would just listen to me.
7
What everyone thinks is true:
That I am dating a man 15 years my senior because after my boyfriend of four years committed suicide I snapped emotionally and he is taking advantage of me.
What actually is true:
I love him. He takes care of me like no one ever has, and he accepts me forr all my flaws. We are now planning to get married.
8
What everyone thinks is true:
That I’m happy living the single life, doing what I want, when I want most times.
What actually is true:
I’d trade it in an instant to have a marriage as loving and respect as the one my parents had. I’m so damn lonely that I cry myself to sleep more often than I want to admit to.
9
What everyone thinks is true:
My fiancee and I are madly in love and our daughter is our world!
What actually is true:
I feel like my fiancee takes me for granted and sees our daughter as a burden. I make the money, cook, clean, and take care of her. While he flirts with guys on his phone.
10
What everyone thinks is true:
I’m happy with very few friends in life.
What actually is true:
I grew up in a religious cult in a foreign country. The people I grew up with are largely still involved and don’t want to be friends with an “ex”. No one outside understands me.
11
What everyone thinks is true:
She was planned!
What actually is true:
She was an accident. I never wanted kids. I cried my eyes out when I found out I was pregnant again because I didn’t want another abortion. Now, I wouldn’t trade her for the world.
12
What everyone thinks is true:
I graduated college with an English degree.
What actually is true:
I dropped out with five classes left to complete my degree. I hated every second of college and only stayed because I was afraid of what everyone would think.
13
What everyone thinks is true:
That, while we’ve had some tough times, we’re a strong enough couple to fight and work as a team through our financial problems.
What actually is true:
We’re in financial ruin with the power about to be cut off. I think he’s been cheating on me. He hasn’t kissed me in over a year. I think he only stays because of the kids.
14
What everyone thinks is true:
That my divorce was the end of the world for me. I feared financial devastation and irreparable damage to my girls.
What actually is true:
I have been reborn. I am a wonderful mom now and I have great peace in my soul. I have the family I always wanted- and no husband! I am 110% at peace with my decision.
15
What everyone thinks is true:
I’m a good teacher, mom, and fiance.
What actually is true:
I am very late with my grading because I hate teaching, I love my son but often question why I had him, and I don’t want to be a Brady Bunch- I want to live alone, conjugal visits!
Continued on next page.
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!