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- On my way to work one morning my nose unexpectedly started running really hard and really fast while I was stopped at a red light. I freaked out when I couldn’t find tissues so I grabbed a spare diaper I found in my purse and turned it inside out to wipe my nose. When I was done I looked down disgusted at how much snot there was and how quickly it happened. That was when I realized a car of high school boys had been watching completely horrified. I don’t know if it was because I was wiping my nose with a diaper or if they thought I was sniffing something soiled.
- Window washer saw me naked, at the hardest part of labor, in a birthing tub. We made eye contact and both went back to the business at hand.
- I was once pantsed in front of our FedEx guy and his trainee..by my dog. He jumped up on me while I was getting our packages and his nails caught the hem of my pants. Incidentally, I wasn’t wearing underwear. They definitely saw the whole incident and I haven’t been back out to see the FedEx guy since.
- I got caught tweezing the granny hairs out of my chin at a stop light.
- I was showering at a friend’s house that I was house sitting. I began to feel ‘water’ going up my shoulder. Realizing that is not how gravity works, I looked over to find a giant spider like object just hanging out on me. I started screaming at an ungodly high pitch and started flailing my arms and body. Just as I was ripping down the vinyl shower curtain, trying to escape the shower of death, two police officers busted down the bathroom door and found me screaming and lying on the floor, naked and soaking wet, wrapped up in the shower curtain. I was screaming spider at them, expecting them to pull forth their weapons of justice to eradicate this pest. They picked up a piece of loofah off the floor and asked what species of spider would I call that. It was embarrassing… also not the first or last time that cops have responded to my screams of terror from a spider sighting.
- Walking into the automatic sliding door at Walmart and knocking it out of its frame.
- Thought I had the entire train car to myself, so I threw in my ipod and did the entire dance to Michael Jackson’s Thriller… lipsync and everything… and then the homeless guy at the end of the car crawled out from the seat, and applauded me…. and thats when I noticed I had the other train car behind me watching roaring with laughter!
OMG. Made my day.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing