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- I have horrible hearing. My husband said something along the lines of “what a great day. All I need now is a movie and a bucket of corn.” I heard “all I need now is a movie and some f***in porn” I was pissed, and straightening it out after I went ape on him took a while.
- We fought about whether or not just a plain bowl of just lettuce could be called a salad.
- My boyfriend had just moved into an apartment and I said something about the church being south of the complex. He argued that it was north. One night we were driving to his place and we started taking about it and it became a battle of “find the mother f*n church!” It turns out that there was one on both north and south of the complex, lol.
- My husband and I, when first living together, divided dinners so he got roughly ⅔ of the food and I got ⅓. He –silly boy– somehow thought that this proportion should ALSO apply to dessert. It does not. Dessert is a 50/50 division, as any woman would plainly tell you.
- My hubby and I fought over what company distributed Dr. Pepper. I didn’t talk to him for 3 days until he apologized for arguing with me over it and admitted I was right.
- I’m a woman. Unless someone else starts it, there is no such thing as a silly fight
- A former live-in boyfriend and I had a huge fight because he said I did laundry too often and so he was never able to rotate completely through all pairs of his underwear. Notice I said former boyfriend.
- Last night, my husband accidentally broke my favorite spatula (yes, I have a favorite) and I got crazy mad at him. He said he’d just buy me another one and that he’d go now to get it. I said I didn’t want him to go now (it was almost midnight) and just to do it later. He said fine, he’d do it later and I said, “Well, when?!” He said again he’d do it now and I said again he wouldn’t. He left the house mad at me and came back 30 minutes later with a bag full of 4 different colors, shapes, and sizes of spatulas, just out of spite. I was laughing too hard to be mad anymore.
We have weird brains sometimes.
Laugh about that crap.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing