dan-noah-pearce

“GAAAHHHH! NOAH!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?!”

I wasn’t saying it all nice-like or funny-like. I was saying it in a literal WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! tone.

Moments before, I had been snuggling peacefully on the couch with my child, watching an episode of Dr. Who.

Suddenly, he quite calmly sat up and mumbled only two words: “I can’t.” It was immediately followed with some awful slurpy hacking sound, followed with…

Oh my gosh…

It was awful…

Followed with a massive ball of spit, spat directly onto my forearm.

Some chunk of something flew out and landed there with it.

“GAAAHHHH! NOAH!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?!”

Why would anyone do that? He ignored me and calmly picked up the chunk of whatever it was off of my arm, and started to walk away.

“Noah, why would you just spit on Daddy like that! That’s so gross!”

He didn’t say a word. Kept walking toward the bathroom. I couldn’t see his face.

“Gah. Noah. Get a paper towel and come wipe this up!” I was in shock. He was acting so strange about it. For him to not acknowledge what I was saying is not like him.

I heard the toilet flush.

I heard the water run.

He calmly walked out, keeping eye contact with me now.

“Get a paper towel and tell me why you just spat on me.”

He headed over and ripped a towel from the dispenser.

“And what was that you spit on me? A bean?” I was getting annoyed that he wasn’t answering, but capping my annoyance and anger about it because in the mayhem of the weird moment, I knew something wasn’t quite right.

He headed in my direction with the paper towel and started dabbing it at my arm.

“What was that? A bean? A piece of food? Why did you spit right on me?”

He looked up at me.

His eyes went red.

And glossy.

Tears began to form.

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!