CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

fart-embarrassed

  1. I have two young teenagers that constantly say “your mom” after every question. So one day at my mom’s house one of the kids ripped one and I said “gross who farted”, my daughter says “your mom”, to which my mom (who of course doesn’t know the kids joke) replies “o my gosh I did? I’m sorry I didn’t even know I farted, o I’m so embarrassed now”. We were laughing so hard and she thought we were laughing because she farted. We tried to explain the joke, but she just didn’t get.
  2. I was sitting in the living room with my little sister and we were talking. I leaned over and farted one of the biggest loudest farts I’ve ever heard, but no big deal since it was just her and I. She gave me a real funny look that made me realize there was someone behind me in the kitchen. I turned back and saw my son’s new girlfriend standing there in shock. The only thing I could think to say was “Welcome to the family!”
  3. I was sitting on the train with my twins, and my son farted… My other son said as loud as could be, “Max you farted and it smelled bad, like mom’s farts!”
  4. I have this issue where if i laugh too hard, or am tickled long enough that i start to fart as i giggle. It’s bad enough that when i was little, my grandpa started calling me “pooter”. I dated my fiancé for almost two years before i “giggle-farted” in front of him. I was mortified. I was sure that he would find it gross, or unseemly. Thankfully, he thinks its hilarious. Hilarious enough to tickle me when he needs a smile. Thank God he doesn’t tickle me in public…
  5. I was pregnant, and had bad morning sickness. I threw up and farted and then laughed so hard that I farted again.
  6. I love broccoli, but it gives me retched gas. Well, while pregnant, I made a whole pan of broccoli cheese casserole (and ate it all) not thinking about having to have a minor surgery the next morning. I woke up with terrible gas pains and tried everything to get the gas out, but nothing was working. On the way to my OB’s office, I told my mom I was terrified I’d fart while my Dr was down there. She assured me I would be fine. Well, I walked in the office and was put in the stirrups. The ob gave me a shot to numb my area and told me to relax. As soon as she started the surgery, I knew I needed to Fart, and I knew I couldn’t tense up because, hello, I was numb down there. So she proceeded to be all up in my business, when out of nowhere came the smelliest, stinkiest, loudest broccoli fart anyone has ever smelt. As If things couldn’t get worse, the nurse started gagging and had to leave the room. So there is my doctor, right down there, green in the face, without an assistant, just waiting for her to come back so they could finish. They never spoke of it again, but I couldn’t look the nurse in the eyes for weeks without laughing hysterically. I haven’t eaten broccoli since!
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE
1
2
3
Previous articleNoah’s Quotable Quotes
Next articleThe Picture They Didn’t Think I’d Have the Guts to Share
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!