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- I remember one time in like 4th grade, I was trying so hard to hold my farts in class (we had folding metal chairs to sit on), so thinking maybe if I lifted one of my butt cheeks it could silently escape without any machine gun-like noises, I tilted my butt, let it rip, and to my surprise instead of it coming out quietly, it made a HUUUGE squealing noise on the metal chair. LOL. I don’t think I ever farted on one of those again.
- I was trying to learn a Wii golf game with my friends and their kids, and I stepped up and did the golf swing and went POOT right when I did my swing, I blushed and the kids laughed and I said, “well, I guess I really gave that all I had!”
- I was in labor and I had gotten an epidural so I couldn’t feel anything below the waiste. Well the nurse told me to push so I did and I hear this POP! And I was like “OMGSH what was that?!” It actually wouldn’t be so embarrassing except for the fact that the nurse had to tell me I was scared of my own fart.
- I was sleeping, and my boyfriend whispers… “you just farted, really loud, and it doesn’t smell very good,” and I said “oh my gosh, I honestly thought I was dreaming.” –he had never heard me fart before… totally embarrassing.
- Getting my first massage, she was lifting my leg to help me stretch and loudly and wetly with a slight asparagus scent the offending gas was released. She lit an incense and kept going like a trouper, but I never went back and I always take a gas-x before I get massages now.
- As i gave my then 3 yr old son a hug, i passed gas. He quickly backed up, looked around and said “who said that!??” I said “who said what??” He said “Who said HEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!”
- When my then boyfriend, now husband, took me to meet his family, I farted while sitting in the kitchen talking to his mom and sister. It was silent and I hoped wouldn’t stink. I was so wrong! I cleared the kitchen and the living room. My first day meeting the family. They still haven’t let me love it down.
PS.Thank you for sharing these. I can’t tell you how hard I was laughing putting this together. And please… share your story or any other comment below!