1. I remember one time in like 4th grade, I was trying so hard to hold my farts in class (we had folding metal chairs to sit on), so thinking maybe if I lifted one of my butt cheeks it could silently escape without any machine gun-like noises, I tilted my butt, let it rip, and to my surprise instead of it coming out quietly, it made a HUUUGE squealing noise on the metal chair. LOL. I don’t think I ever farted on one of those again.
  2. I was trying to learn a Wii golf game with my friends and their kids, and I stepped up and did the golf swing and went POOT right when I did my swing, I blushed and the kids laughed and I said, “well, I guess I really gave that all I had!”
  3. I was in labor and I had gotten an epidural so I couldn’t feel anything below the waiste. Well the nurse told me to push so I did and I hear this POP! And I was like “OMGSH what was that?!” It actually wouldn’t be so embarrassing except for the fact that the nurse had to tell me I was scared of my own fart.
  4. I was sleeping, and my boyfriend whispers… “you just farted, really loud, and it doesn’t smell very good,” and I said “oh my gosh, I honestly thought I was dreaming.” –he had never heard me fart before… totally embarrassing.
  5. Getting my first massage, she was lifting my leg to help me stretch and loudly and wetly with a slight asparagus scent the offending gas was released. She lit an incense and kept going like a trouper, but I never went back and I always take a gas-x before I get massages now.
  6. As i gave my then 3 yr old son a hug, i passed gas. He quickly backed up, looked around and said “who said that!??” I said “who said what??” He said “Who said HEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!”
  7. When my then boyfriend, now husband, took me to meet his family, I farted while sitting in the kitchen talking to his mom and sister. It was silent and I hoped wouldn’t stink. I was so wrong! I cleared the kitchen and the living room. My first day meeting the family. They still haven’t let me love it down.

PS.Thank you for sharing these. I can’t tell you how hard I was laughing putting this together. And please… share your story or any other comment below!

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!