fart-embarrassedEverybody farts. And that’s okay.

In fact, It’s more than okay. Farts often can be some of the funniest things ever. At least in retrospect. But when they happen unexpectedly, sometimes they’re the most mortifying things ever.

Here are your stories. I dare you not have a happier day reading these!

  1. Walking up a flight of steps 6 months pregnant, I farted every step I took. With each step I took, the farts got louder… 3 Teenage boys I did not know were behind me, and they gave me a high 5 when we reached the top. We all where in tears laughing.
  2. One time, my friend was introducing me to this girl that I had really wanted to meet for months. Like, really wanted to meet. I finally got the introduction, and of course I also had the world’s biggest fart pain hit me right then. She stuck her hand out to shake mine, and I just looked at her all bug-eyed and didn’t move a muscle. “What’s the matter?” She asked. Before I could answer, a loud fart slipped out. “Oh,” she said. “Don’t worry, it happens to everyone.”
  3. We were camping with a group of friends and we all went out for a bike ride. Our 2 year old son was in a baby seat behind my husband. When we all got back, our son VERY LOUDLY announced that dad had been farting in his face the whole time! Poor kid couldn’t escape!
  4. I was riding in an elevator solo and let a huge one rip. When I got to my floor a lady was waiting to get on. I scooted out of there as quick as I could. She got on and as the doors shut I heard a muffled “oh my god!”
  5. During my first year teaching, one day, my stomach was in knots. Even though it was 4th grade, some of my kids followed me around to ask questions. Well I had sneakily let one out that I swore burned my underwear! Well he walked right into the cloud and gasped. He and I made direct eye contact and pointed at each other. I couldn’t contain myself. While laughing I tried to blame it on him. So a 9 year old and a (then) 22 year old were in a fart cloud standoff trying to blame the other.
  6. My 19 month old mimics everything using mouth sounds. We were in a crowded store and I quietly moved away from everyone to ‘relieve’ myself. He heard it and did a big raspberry noise and pointed at me.
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE
1
2
3
SHARE
Previous article50 More Random Facts I Didn’t Know That I Didn’t Know
Next articleThis is Beautiful You
Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!