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- I was having a very, ummm, intimate moment with my husband. Don’t know how else to put it in a public forum. And let’s just say, his face was a little too close. Kind of ended the fun that night!
- My boyfriend and I spent a weekend in Colorado last weekend. In the middle of the night I was dead asleep and my boyfriend turned the tv off and let out a mother load of a fart. Mid sleep I woke up and jumped about 100 feet in the air and grabbed a hold of him saying did you hear that.. Did you see the flash.. Did you see an orb.. What about that noise? What was that? He’s just dying laughing.. Here I am scared to death thinking a ghost just made contact. He finally told me that he farted and turned the tv off at the same time.
- When I was 6 or 7 months pregnant with my son, I had bad sciatic nerve pain. I went into the chiropractor for an adjustment. After the doctor was done with adjustment, she pushed on my upper back to stretch it out, essentially folding me in half. As soon as I bent, the loudest fart slipped out. There is no way she didn’t hear it, but I was way too embarrassed to say anything, not even I’m sorry. To this day I can’t look her in the eye, and that was 5 years ago!
- When he was about 4 months old, my son farted in his Bumbo chair hard enough to lift him out of the seat. He found this the most hilarious thing ever and laughed like crazy for the next 20 minutes.
- I squeezed one out on a first date once “trying to be silent” and right afterwards my date looked at me and said “I think your butt just said a word!”
- My oldest, Nick, and youngest, Tristan, were bickering (about what, we no longer remember). Tristan told his brother if he (Nick) didn’t stop aggravating him, he (Tristan) would fart on him. Well, Nick didn’t stop, so Tristan dropped undies, laid on the bed with legs over his head, pointed his naked butt at his brother, tried to fart… and instead sprayed poop on his brother! We heard screaming, and children quickly trooped into our room to tell what happened. Nick was stripping his clothes to jump in the shower. My husband and I were having a difficult time trying to dole out punishments, we were laughing so hard! To this day, if Nick makes him mad, Tristan will threaten to fart on him again!
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