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fart-embarrassed

  1. My mom loves to tell the story of when I was learning manners for various situations (including, of course, “Excuse me” for burps and other emissions)…We went to my Nana’s for Thanksgiving and everyone (like 20 people) bowed their heads for grace before the meal. Right into the sudden silence, I ripped one. Not a tiny toot, but something that didn’t sound like it should have come out of a small child. My mortified mama prompted me, “Now what do you say?” I thought for a moment, then blurted, “I enjoyed it!”
  2. My radio co-host was at his Italian family Thanksgiving…so, LOTS of people…LOTS of food….and after gorging a bit felt the “need”….so he went down to the basement…nice and quiet…dark…perfect to let one go…He did…quite triumphantly and then hears a voice say “Oh, thats nice JOHN”….it was his cousin, who went down to the basement to quietly breastfeed her new baby…John had farted right in her face…
  3. While checking out at a store, my 2 year old son pooped his pants.. Next thing I know, he very loudly says “did you fart mama?! Man, you stink!” Not only was I embarrassed, I was shocked (and kind of amazed) that he learned quickly how to pass the blame onto someone else for his rotten smell!
  4. I was at yoga class when my biggest fear came to fruition…I farted in downward dog pose. I started giggling, and it developed into a full blown laugh. I was laughing so hard, I had to leave the class. I am a child. I texted my oldest son that it had finally happened, I farted in class. He posted my text to his Facebook page. Gotta love your kids!
  5. Oh lord. Where to start with this horrible story? Four years ago, I went on the date of my dreams. It was with a guy that I had a crush on since high school (6 years). Unfortunately, I had this horrible cold. Not wanting to cancel I drugged my self up with as much cold meds as humanly possible. Things were going great. Except we went to eat Mexican and I am highly allergic to dairy . I asked for no cheese but when they brought my food out it was covered in the stuff. Not wanting to be that girl that sends her food back, i ate it. All of it. Everything was going great my stomach was actually doing ok. I thought I was home free, but I could feel the cold meds wearing off. After dinner he opened my door for me and tried to help me climb into his lifted truck. I sneezed. It wasn’t just any sneeze. Y’all, I sneezed so hard I FARTED. Right in my now husband’s face.
  6. My brother was at work one day when he had a heart attack. He was just 30 years old and his world was ending. He clutched his chest and couldn’t move. An ambulance was called and he was rushed to the emergency room. He was put through a battery of tests and put in a room to await the doctors opinion on what to do next. While laying there his life flashed before him and he was scared. Before the doctors had a chance to come back to the room with the results of the tests, he let the biggest fart he’d ever experienced and the pain in his chest went away. He got up, got dressed and went home and never went back. We call it the most expensive fart EVER!

PS.Thank you for sharing these. I can’t tell you how hard I was laughing putting this together. And please… share your story or any other comment below!

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he’s most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It’s an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!