Woman and little girl sharing a secret

  1. My daughter (age 3) bit threw a glow stick (after repeatedly telling her to take it out of her mouth) and spilled the glowing chemicals all over herself. my husband and I told her that she was now “marked to be taken by the aliens.” she bawled for most of the night saying she was not old enough to be taken from her mom and dad yet. And she quickly stopped putting things in her mouth from that night forward.
  2. My daughter walked in on her father in the bathroom one day, she later asked me why his tail was on backwards. I told her that he was a superhero and that his tail helps him fly…got a call from school the next day…
  3. For my son who thought there were monsters and ghosts in his room I would put water and a dash of lavender oil in a plastic spray bottle. I would give it to my son so he could spray it around his room…. I told him it was monster repellent.
  4. If they were naughty in the car, I would push the button and they would get ejected out the sunroof window.
  5. My mom told me when I was a kid that there were little gnomes that lived in people’s noses and if you picked your nose they would bite your finger off. As proof she would make my uncle show us his half finger.
  6. I wasn’t able to have children, but I thought I’d share one my mother pulled on me when I was about 4 or 5 years old. I am an avid animal lover and I kept bugging my mom for any pet I could think of. I insisted they could all sleep in my bed. Each time I asked, the answer was no. No didn’t stop me…I just kept on asking. One day she handed me some seeds and said “Norma Jean, if you want birds, plant these outside. You will grow little birds.” All excited, I ran outside and carefully planted them. About 2 weeks later, my dad came in the house asking why pot plants were growing in the garden. Yep, mom gave me pot seeds to plant. Hey, it was the early 70’s….
  7. When my stepdaughter asked why her Santa present said it was made in China, I told her that the elves get really busy and outsource two months out of a year.
  8. My oldest asked me the question “how did my dad put me into your belly when you were pregnant with me.” On the spot I came up with “your dad and I decided we wanted a baby, went to the baby store and picked out all of the things we wanted you to have, baked the ingredients into a cake, and then I ate it.” He said “so that’s why I have big feet, you wanted me to?”
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!