fart-embarrassedEverybody farts. And that’s okay.

In fact, It’s more than okay. Farts often can be some of the funniest things ever. At least in retrospect. But when they happen unexpectedly, sometimes they’re the most mortifying things ever.

Here are your stories. I dare you not have a happier day reading these!

  1. I was at Home Depot with my husband and 6 month old son. We were looking at who knows what when my intestines started churning. The aisle had been quite abandoned for the few moments we were there as my husband stood and compared whatever item to some other thing, so I decided it was safe to just let it rip. I leaned over the cart and the most ferocious, eye-watering gas that has ever escaped my body slowly emerged, and quickly spread over the entirety of the aisle (and, I imagine, a couple others too). Just then, to my horror, an unsuspecting victim turns the corner, walking straight into my methane death trap. And, as misfortune would have it, he needs to look at the same thing we were looking at! As he approached our vicinity, I looked at my husband, whose face was still processing what had just happened, turned to my baby in a panic, and loudly proclaimed, “Oh sweetheart! You stink! Let’s go change your diaper!” …and fled the scene as quickly as my legs could manage. This is why God created the blessing of children.
  2. When my husband and I were dating, I was sitting on his lap and let a little “pffft” out. I tried to run away, mortified. He laughed, held me, and said, “Was that a fart?! Cute!”
  3. In this household full of boys plus me, it’s completely appropriate to assess the skill of the fart. If it ain’t fancy, don’t bother. Skill points can be awarded for breaking it into multiple small toots (the more the better), loudness, or any other special sounds or effects. You can also pair them with cool jumps or moves for extra skill points. Of course, I never partake in these games since everyone knows girls don’t fart.
  4. My 8yr old bent over to pick up a Lego off the floor and accidentally let one go, only to immediately pop back up to say, “well I wasn’t expecting that!”
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!