Here I am. 34. And I still don’t have a girlfriend.

What could I be doing wrong?

Obviously, something.

And knowing that, I went back to Instagram, my favorite place to learn how to be an awesome person, to do a search for my favorite inspirational tag:

#BestBoyfriendEver

I mean… why not take tips from the best of the #BEST? I’m going to do ALL these things so that I, too, can have an awesome girlfriend calling me the best boyfriend ever.

Here they are. 30 tips and tricks.

1. Remind her that your time is limited.
2. Be rich. That always works.

3. Apparently making her "generally happy" is enough to make anyone the #BestBoyfriendEver.
4. Yay! Boyfriend!
5. Just… Be the most ridiculously cute couple ever.
6. Then do it again.
7. And again.
8. Take a picture of the most awkward kiss ever. Hey, 1,120 likes. Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.
9. Take a picture of the most awkward hand-holding ever. Only 8 likes. Hm. Yeah, I’ve been doing things all wrong.
10. Drugs are always the quickest way to her heart.
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!