truth box

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “what actually is true.” More than six thousand secrets were shared. Every month I try and share 60 of them here. Completely random and exactly as they came in.

These truths aren’t meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles.

Pulled from the Truth Box: Week 35

1
What everyone thinks is true:
That I hate kids and never want any of my own.
What actually is true:
I love kids, and wish I had my own, but my family and my husband’s constantly insinuate that I’d be a terrible mother and shouldn’t have any, so I’m afraid to get pregnant.
2
What everyone thinks is true:
That I’m talking on a hands free phone while i’m driving.
What actually is true:
I have pretend conversations with people that are not actually there in the car. I know it’s not real, but it is a fun escape from reality. I’m addicted to it and can’t stop.
3
What everyone thinks is true:
That I’m a happy newly-wed
What actually is true:
I don’t want to be married. I think I might still love the man that I cheated with on my now husband when we were dating.
4
What everyone thinks is true:
I have a social life.
What actually is true:
I have no life. I spend all my time alone. I tell my family and coworkers about made up friends “from college,” but I don’t have actual friends.
5
What everyone thinks is true:
That I don’t show guys my butt because I don’t like it.
What actually is true:
I have never shown anyone my butt (even my husband of 10 years) because I have had horrible acne on it since I was 11. It makes me hate myself.
6
What everyone thinks is true:
That my mom is sick and she has to depend on my siblings and myself.
What actually is true:
Sometimes I wonder if she fakes being sick so that my siblings and I won’t go on with out lives and and leave her.
7
What everyone thinks is true:
That I’m an awesome dad and that my ex wife and I, along with her fiance, get along amazingly well.
What actually is true:
They are so short tempered and impatient with him. I worry he may become confused of what real love is when he grows older leading to depression, just like I have.
8
What everyone thinks is true:
People always tell me how strong I am and how well I handle pain.
What actually is true:
I am not strong at all. I am just good and hiding my pain. I cry myself to sleep and I am in agony 24/7.
9
What everyone thinks is true:
My boyfriend and I are trying to start a healthier lifestyle because we want to feel better about ourselves.
What actually is true:
My boyfriend is really overweight and has been since we started dating and I love it. I’m afraid that if he loses weight I’m no longer going to find him attractive.
10
What everyone thinks is true:
I’ve recently graduated and am hard at work trying to find a good paying job.
What actually is true:
I’m scared to death of getting a job. Leaving the house alone makes me shake and I sometimes cry before leaving. I’ve done three fake interviews to keep my wife happy.
11
What everyone thinks is true:
I’m a level headed and logical pacifist that believes this country needs more gun control.
What actually is true:
I’m sad and angry ALL THE TIME. I’m scared that if I had a gun I would use it on others and myself.
12
What everyone thinks is true:
I don’t love easily, if at all.
What actually is true:
I did love way too easily, and got hurt one too many times.
13
What everyone thinks is true:
That I’m a super helpful coworker.
What actually is true:
When you ask me questions about how to use Word, Excel, Powerpoint, I pretend I don’t know because I’m tired of helping you with things you should know already!!!
14
What everyone thinks is true:
That I’m a good Mormon boy who protects the virtue of the women I’m with.
What actually is true:
That I like I like to have sex as much as possible. I don’t care what you look like, I just want sex.
15
What everyone thinks is true:
My fiancee and I have some issues but we love each other so much we are working hard, together, to work through them.
What actually is true:
For months I have felt like I’m the only onde doing anything at all, and to top it off, now I think he is cheating on me. but I can’t leave him yet because of our daughter.
Continued on next page.
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!