Woman and little girl sharing a secret

I asked an awesome question to ask over on the SDL Facebook page. “What is the funniest fib you’ve ever found yourself telling your child?”

Anyone who is a parent at all knows what it’s like to throw a random fib out from time to time because… maybe you just don’t want to deal with a half hour beg-fest. Or maybe you just aren’t ready to explain something. Or maybe you know that your child isn’t ready to have something explained. There rare a million reasons why little fibs can be totally legit.

And if there’s anything that I know, it’s that usually those little fibs are HILARIOUS! I stand behind you, fibbing parents, and I laugh with you as we tackle this thing called parenting together.

Here are your replies. Oh, and if you missed the first one, you can catch that here!

So, I Fibbed to My Kid…

  1. When my daughter caught my dogs, uhh, “tied up” she freaked out because they were “stuck”. She asked if it was like that with people & I said “it’s totally like that”. She got the most god awful, disgusted look on her face & kept going on about how gross it was. I just smiled at her & said “that’s right. Totally gross. You just remember that.” My husband just shook his head at me & walked away laughing. I should mention my daughter was 14 at the time…
  2. Every kid has a blue dot in the middle of their forehead that shows up when they’re lying, it can only be seen by a parent or adult, no kids can see it. My daughter is 7 and my son is 6 and they’ll still cover their foreheads when they’re lying or say “did you see my blue dot?” after saying something.
  3. The tooth fairy called and said she could not make it because her wings were frozen and she would get them defrosted and come tonight. He was assigned the absolute worst tooth fairy ever, she always has an excuse.
  4. When my kids caught me putting money under a pillow for the tooth fairy, I told them she hired me to help out… When later I forgot to make the exchange for days on end, my daughter asked me if the tooth fairy had to fire me for giving her a bad rep.
  5. I have an identical twin sister and one day I told my boys 4 & 7 that I wasn’t really their mom, that my sister Tina was. I told them it was time to go home to their real mom and to pack their bags. They froze for a minute and then had worried looks. I couldn’t keep it up long because their facial expressions were so serious, I started laughing and then they chased me around the house laughing and told me I needed to go to time out.
  6. My step son asked why the dog keeps smelling his (step sons) butt & I told him the dog was making sure he wipes good
  7. Well my poor sister is the one I have lied to most about stupid stuff. Mainly because even at 27 she is extremely gullible. Told her once that Corpus Christi was where one of Christopher Columbus’s ships wreck and it happened to carry Christopher’s daughter Christi on it. Told her that there were no survivors and that Christopher found his daughter remains washed up on shore. He then founded Corpus Christi in order to honor her and her body was then mummified and placed in the local museum. We actually visited the museum there and my sister ran all around the museum looking for the mummified remains of Christi. She was probably about 10 or so. Just recently we took a trip to San Antonio and at 27 years old I was able to get her to believe the Alamo had a basement. Told her it was where they stored all the ammo. This NEVER gets old. Lol. Horrible big sister… I know.
  8. This morning my 3-1/2 year old son INSISTED he was going to have coffee. To keep him out of the real stuff, I told him I was making SPECIAL COFFEE just for him.. while mixing up hot cocoa. (Now I’m going to have to make sure I tell their dad, before my kids say that Mommy gave them coffee.)
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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!