11. During labor my husband said “nice deep breaths” and I loudly replied “thank you, they are nice breasts” he was completely embarrassed.
12. Grocery shopping….got my daughter out of the cart and all buckled in the car… and drove off with the groceries and my purse sitting in the cart. Had to drive back when I could not find my purse. Grocery store management was looking at video to see if I was kidnapped! Talk about embarrassed.
13. I parked my car in the driveway, ran into the house and fell asleep. Walked out to the car in the morning to find out I’d left the thing running all night! I’m so lucky it wasn’t stolen!
14. During a checkup, I couldn’t keep my composure when my doctor, of Indian descent, told me to focus. His heavy accent made it sound like he was saying “f***ers.” He said it repeatedly, and more furiously, the more I giggled. The more he said it, the harder I laughed. We had to reschedule the appointment.
15. I was at the check out line at the grocery store. I was in the process of signing a check, and I could not remember my name!!!!! LOL. I got out of the line and was about to go home…then I remembered that my name was printed on the check.
16. I had complications with my pregnancy and had to have blood drawn constantly. Unfortunately I’m a hard stick. They would stick me all up and down my arms, hands and fingers to draw blood. Near the end of the pregnancy I had gone into the lab for the usual torture. The man drawing my blood was new and very cute… so I was incredibly nervous. I sat down and prepared for the worst. All of the sudden, he says he’s… done? I was in shock. Not only did he get me on the first stick, but I never even felt it. So in my state of shock and awe I excitedly proclaimed, “you’re the best prick I’ve ever had!”.
17. I was looking through stuff looking for some stationary when I came across a random piece of paper that read, “Thanks for last night. PS, don’t tell your wife.” Well, naturally I lost my mind and came running to my husband, ready to commit a crime of passion. He just starts laughing after I went off on him and reminded me that I had written it and left it at his place when I left one morning before we lived together. I looked and it was UNDENIABLY my handwriting. Yep, almost murdered my husband for cheating on me with… me.
18. With boy #2 I looked out onto the flight line (I was in the Air Force at the time) and started crying uncontrollably because the fighter jets looked lonely without their flight crews in the rain storms.