The future didn’t matter. It might not work out. It might work out. Why should I let one of the most incredible “nows” I’ve ever had in my life be tainted or changed because of a future I can literally know nothing about?
And also… the past didn’t matter. My past, her past. None of it mattered, and it certainly had no effect on what has been happening in one of the most incredible “nows” I’ve ever had in my life. Why should I let anything in either of our pasts taint or change our now because of some fear of how the past will somehow affect the future?
And that is when I realized perhaps the greatest irony of all. Eternity, forever, the future… thinking about those things was keeping me from doing what I had to do right now to be an incredible boyfriend, an incredible lover, and a safe place for my girl. And are you ready for the irony? Doing what I have to do right now to be an incredible boyfriend, lover, and that safe place for my girl is exactly what will someday lead to “forever” or “eternity” or whatever name you want to give it.
It is always the now that leads to forever. Always. It is always the actions of today that lead to happiness today. And it is always happiness today that makes happiness tomorrow a much more real possibility.
Whether it’s with our lovers, our kids, our families, our friends, our colleagues, or anyone else. We cannot dwell on the future just as much as we cannot dwell on the past. The future doesn’t really exist. And neither does the past, if you think about it. In this moment, all we have is this. Right now. Right here. Nothing else.
Changing that in my mind changed everything for me. Immediately. Admitting that the future would always be uncertain, somehow made it easier to fully trust and let down my walls with her right now. It worked because I was suddenly able to let the future take care of itself, instead of trying to take care of a future that I have literally no control over.
It’s really that simple.
So… I don’t know about all of you, but I’m going to think less of this:
And more of this:
The symbol for “Here and Now.”
Just don’t expect me to get it tattooed on my wrist or something. A big ol’ tramp stamp seems much more appropriate.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing