If I could sum up the awesome aftermath of the last blog post (you know, the one where I confess to being stuck all depressed and not awesome in my sweatpants), it would be this…
I read a nice comment from one of you after I posted the blog entry.
Then, I mustered all the energy I had to think the best thought I could think in that moment.
I read another nice comment.
I mustered more energy.
I read a different and really nice comment with some really good advice.
That deserved the most positive energy of all. For sure.
BARGH MAGOO POO.
That went on for about fifty comments or so, when I realized something. I was better than that moment. I was better than whatever puddle of chemical imbalance I was. I could, you know, change my circumstance. I did have that power.
UGHTABUG BAH!!! (I’m pretty sure that was my literal thought in that moment).
Eventually I actually did summon some energy and I brushed the PopChips crumbs off my sweatpants (yes, that really happened). They fell to the floor and I pictured dozens of diseased rats sneaking out from under my couch to snatch them up really quick. I don’t know why. I think about crap like that when I’m depressed. It’s like… Yeah, of course that would happen in my life right now.
Just then my girlfriend texted me and asked how my day was going. I didn’t want to confess that I had just spent an hour BARGH-MAGOO-POOING the nicest and most supportive comments ever. I didn’t want to confess that I had downed an entire giant bag of PopChips during the last 6 ½ minutes. I certainly didn’t want to confess that I was secretly hoping the rats would come because it would somehow make me feel better. Instead, I confessed that I was experiencing some seasonal depression, and that I was most certainly going to be the most proactive person EVER about it!
GRAHG! Why did I promise all that?! I thought, after I told her specific things I was going to do right then to better my situation.
But, it was good. I knew I needed to be held accountable in that moment. I knew I needed to stand up and get moving. Not sit down and rip open a fresh bag of pork jerky.
And, I did. I got up. I got moving. And I did more than I even said. I sat down and wrote down ten things I was going to do by the end of the weekend to be AWESOME again. Then, I got busy doing them.
These are my ten things. Do me a favor and hold me accountable this winter, peeps.