Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Yes.
I asked, and you all delivered. This was the post I made on the SDL Facebook wall.
I really did need a laugh with everything going on.
And… I don’t know if it was because of the state of mind I was in, or because of something else, but I really laughed at your replies on this one. So, thank you… It’s fantastically comforting to know that I’m among such epically crazy peeps.
- I may or may not have called the company that makes Jolly Ranchers while on bedrest when I was pregnant with my, now 13yr old, daughter. I went off of the poor person on the other end for twenty or so straight minutes while simultaneously bawling my eyes out because I REALLY missed and NEEDED their discontinued Tropical Punch and Pink Lemonade Jolly Rancher Stixs. Like, NEEDED. I have since noticed the Pink Lemonade ones are back in stores. You are all welcome.
- Found out my (now ex) husband was cheating on me so I put sardines in the air vents of his car….in the middle of July….in Texas.
- When my husband insisted men are stronger than women (childbirth was the topic of conversation), I challenged him to a rock lifting contest in the back yard. I opened the door and let him walk out ahead of me, then promptly locked the door behind him.
- Shortly after becoming a single mom to a small child (still in a carry around baby seat) and struggling to do it all on my own, I loaded everything into the car and went for groceries… When I got back to my car in the pouring rain with a full load, I watched a guy pull in on the baby’s side of my car, so close I couldn’t open the door. He got out and began to walk away. I nicely asked him to move so I could get the seat in and he muttered an obscenity and walked away… I managed to maneuver the seat in from the other side, got the stroller in, loaded the groceries, and when it was done I closed the door and stood in the downpour and cried…. Then the evil woman in me quickly took over as I pulled off both of his windshield wipers and tucked them in my trunk and drove away… Smiling. It rained hard for another 3 hours and the closest automotive parts store was a good 20 min walk! You don’t mess with a mama bear
- I once took my dog’s stocking down after he knocked over our Christmas tree. That showed him!
- I sprinkled unflavored Kool aid packets on my ex’s light colored berber carpet when I moved out knowing full well he had scheduled carpet cleaning 3 days later!
- I sent my satellite television provider an email about being wronged and told them I typed it all with my middle finger only.