I’m in a feisty mood, today. Gotta end 2014 with a laugh.
There’s this guy. Or maybe it’s a girl. I don’t know. All I know is that he/she is a friendship WRECKER! And it’s payback time. Hahahaha.
My little brother Eric (who currently lives in England with his wife and three kids) and I have this good friend from years ago. His name is Steve.
Steve is definitely a character and just about the nicest guy ever. He was much more my brother’s friend to begin with, and so I only tend to see him when my brother is in town. It used to be that every time Eric came back to the states, we’d call up Steve and we’d all go out and do something amazing and fun together. Steve always jumped at the chance. We were all good friends, after all. We have a lot of great memories together.
But then, in the winter of 2012, all that changed.
Eric and I sent Steve our usual “Eric’s here, let’s go have some fun!” type of text from my phone, just as we always had. Immediately, the reply was something like, “Hell no. That’s not going to happen.” It was cold, and unfriendly. Not like Steve at all, and as far as we both knew there had never been any reason for our friendship to have taken a nose dive. Still, it was cold and unfriendly, so we brushed it off and didn’t reply or meet up with Steve in 2012.
Fast forward. Eric is here right now with his wife (and now three kids!) from England once again, and we decided to have a poker night with some of our friends. “Should we invite Steve?” That was the question at hand. I mean, it was a valid question based on his absolute zero interest in hanging with us the last time. But, hey. Maybe 2012 was an anomaly. Maybe he was having big life struggles at the time. Might as well assume the best and try once more. Right?
Hoping for the best, we sent the text, and the best is not what we got. Instead we got this…
Now, at first we were baffled. And dumbfounded. And offended. 1) Why was our friend Steve being such a turd to us, his old pals? And 2) Why was he being such a turd to us, his old pals?
This time, though, the thought came. Maybe I don’t have Steve’s correct phone number anymore. Maybe this is just some weenie who enjoys replying awful things to wrong numbers. This epiphany mostly came because we just know Steve too well to know that he really wouldn’t be a giant turd to us, and hey also wouldn’t say something so ridiculous and vulgar as his only response. Or maybe he would. Maybe he really didn’t give two shakes about us anymore. We didn’t know.
And since we didn’t know, we decided to withhold judgment until Eric could contact Steve through Facebook.
And, sure enough. Our old friend did change cell numbers a few years back. In 2012, we had sent the invite to the wrong number. And this year we did the same thing. They were both sent to the same person, apparently, because this person has no problem making you believe all sorts of awful things about people you know, without ever telling you that you have the wrong number. And I don’t want to believe there are two people on Earth who would do that.
Okay, confession. It was actually kind of funny, stranger who did it.
But it’s not funny. We almost gave up on an old friend forever.
You know what would be funny though? And probably so very not funny to you?
If I share the same screenshot without blurring your phone number, and I don’t just share it… I share it with hundreds of thousands of people who I have absolutely no control over how they use it and what they send you. I can’t control if they text you something nice, or if they send you something, oh, I don’t know… ridiculous or positive or crazy or ______?
I’m gonna do that. Why not.
I can laugh and enjoy playing this fun game you started, too. And like I said. I’m in a feisty mood, today.
Hm. Yeah. That should give you some kicks and giggles since you seem to love replying to texts from unknown numbers so much.
You friendship wrecker, you.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Gold sticker bonus for screenshots of any amazing texts sent/received to this person.
PPS. Since I know you were all so worried about it, don’t worry! Steve is our old rousty pal again. He came to poker night and we had a friggin’ blast.