Well, it’s official. I think I just learned what my limit is, and I cracked. Big time.

I just spent the last five minutes tracking down two different Apple Store employees to apologize for becoming, well, this…

crazy-angry-furious

Except, you know… the male version of that.

As we speak, I am standing in the Apple Store, using one of their bazillion display laptops, confessing my crimes to all of you.

No, really. I am. This is proof, taken from the webcam of one of their laptops:

final-straw-apple-store

But, yeah. I just lost it. Completely.

It was a chain of events that led to it, really. But first…

It usually takes a lot to get me angry. It takes a lot to see me lose it. I am generally a very calm, collected, easy going, Margaritaville guy when it comes to the little things.

But apparently that’s not the case after pulling four all-nighters in the past 9 days, four half-nighters, and really only getting one solid night of sleep.

Gosh. Ever since my server was hacked the Saturday before last, life has been mayhem. Whoever broke-in took it upon himself to delete all 12,000+ images from my server, delete all sorts of configuration files, and introduce mayhem all over the place. Backups were in place, but that crap takes a while, and it was my first all nighter.

Monday. After (of course, after) I told you all the apps were going to be announced the next day, my developer accidentally clicked one wrong button and deleted our IP address. That put us behind by a few more days. But hey, finally we fixed it and I got to announce the apps!

That day started out so good. All of my giant fears were being laid to rest. People were head over heels loving the apps. I actually had a small but giant messy man-cry as the weight of everything lifted off me. Things might just be… okay? Really?

But… within hours suddenly the apps stopped working. The servers had been misconfigured poorly (something I am not an expert in). Then I did something stupid. I did something really stupid trying to fix the problem myself since my developers were gone. And this time it was me who wiped out ALL of the data on the servers. And, long story short, a thousand unexpected dollars and another all-nighter later, the apps were going again by morning, but they weren’t really going well at all. The same issues were still there from before.

We discovered a serious problem in the code that made the servers crash and stop sending stuff to the apps when traffic spiked at all. And it needs to be fixed.

The SDL App is a bit slow while we fix this, but it’s working pretty well most of the time. The MemeCabin App works sometimes, but it won’t work right until we fix these issues and submit new builds to be approved. Insert a third all-nighter, so much more unexpected money that I really don’t have, and things are starting to get fixed. Its gonna take a few more days, though. I really hope I can re-announce these apps to all of you when they are fixed because they are a big part of being able to keeping SDL going. And now that is more true than ever.

Anyway, that’s where we’re at. That’s where I was at when I walked into this store which I am standing here typing vigorously in while Apple employees tip toe around me, careful not to bother the thing that just exploded all over them.

I don’t know. Maybe the fact that I’ve known for so long that these apps are such a big part of keeping this going is a big reason why today I became the lesser-known Great White Shark version of Dan Pearce. Maybe it was sleep deprivation. No, it certainly mostly was sleep deprivation. Maybe it was just sheer mental exhaustion. And maybe it was just me tired of nothing seeming to go right. Because nothing has been going right, it seems.

And, maybe that’s why, when I dropped my iPhone 6 plus onto my tile floor yesterday and stood looking at its glass which was suddenly so shattered I couldn’t even see the content behind it, all I could do was shake my head, stand in silence, and for my own sanity try not to jump out of a window right then and there. Instead, I refused to let myself think about it. I calmly went and made an appointment for today to have it fixed. I pushed back the tears in my eyes and promised myself that a stupid phone wouldn’t be the thing that took me down in all of this.

Famous last thoughts.

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 1.4 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!