Big head nerd

There are three kinds of people in this world.

Those who get witty banter and jokes.

Those who don’t.

And the worst kind of people (at social events, anyway)… those who ruin witty banter and jokes by interrupting the laughter and getting all technical about whatever people are laughing at once the joke is done.

From now, and hereto forever, I shall call them “the banter killers.”

You know the kind of people I’m talking about. And gosh. I hope you’re not one of them. If you are, it’s not too late to take a personal inventory and begin the arduous process of mending your humor killing ways before it’s officially too late for you and you’re blacklisted with all the other banter killers who don’t get invited anymore. Hahaha.

Banter killers.

It’s hard to explain the moments these people ruin because they always take place in the thick of a big group laugh-fest, and all the jokes are usually very specific or personal. Taken out of context, they wouldn’t be all that funny to anyone. But in the moment, they’re just about the funniest things to everyone.

The laugh-fest gets rolling.

Sally Sue maybe says something funny about Tim Bob’s choice for a date at the last get-together.

Then Tim Bob replies with something funny about his date and how he definitely had his beer goggles on, but it was okay because at least she was fun to make-out with and he didn’t even have to turn off the lights thanks to the liquor.

Everyone laughs, including Jimmy Joe (who just chuckles).

Then Sally Sue retorts that Tim Bob really shouldn’t pretend he made out with her or that it wasn’t actually his date who was wearing the beer goggles.

Everyone laughs, including Jimmy Joe (who just chuckles).

Then Laura Loo maybe chimes in with a very sincere compliment about how Tim Bob is a good looking guy and any girl would be lucky to have him. She quickly turns on the perv-vibe and adds, “I’d get it on with ya, Tim Bob.” Tim Bob laughs and gives his consent. Laura Loo finishes with a joke about how she always has 30 seconds for a friend who has no more than 30 seconds to give.

Everyone laughs, including Jimmy Joe (who just chuckles).

At this point, Tim Bob probably pretends to get mad and says something about how he has greatly improved over the years. In fact, just last week he finally broke through the 40-second barrier.

Sally Sue jumps in again and tells Tim Bob how proud she is of him and what a huge accomplishment that really is for Tim Bob.

Everyone laughs, including Jimmy Joe (who just chuckles).

At this point, the banter is thick. The humor is flying. The pervy mind-juices are flowing. Everyone’s laughing. Laura Loo is ready to make her next joke. So is Sally Sue. Tim Bob definitely is. But before any of them can do it… Who shows up and opens his mouth?

Who else but Jimmy Joe. The banter killer.

The banter killers always start with a laugh. Jimmy Joe sure does. And then he kills the banter by getting technical and saying something like… “Actually, you guys, I was just reading an article in Men’s Health that said most men are very self-conscious about their stamina and that the average stamina for men is only somewhere around 120 seconds. So Tim Bob is just normal.”

Jimmy Joe gets a few head nods. He gets a few “hmms” and “huhs.”

And the banter dies.

At least until Tim Bob pipes in something like, “dude, we were joking.” Jimmy Joe laughs and says he knows. And Tim Bob, in true witty, pervy, non banter-killer style gets it going once more. “But, hey… I’m glad you could find a magazine article to make you feel better about your bedroom limitations.”

And everyone laughs, including Jimmy Joe (who now just chuckles out of awkwardness).


Banter killers. There’s one at every party, waiting, watching, ready to derail the humor train.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

Oh, and yes. That was based off a true pervy joke-fest of which I may or may not have been a part.

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Dan Pearce is an American-born author, app developer, photographer, and artist. This blog, Single Dad Laughing, is what he's most known for, with more than 2 million daily subscribers as of 2017. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Single Dad Laughing is much more than a blog. It's an incredible community of people just being real and awesome together!